Evidence for God from Science

Annette you have all of us.
And I'm sure Rick is supportive but be mindful.
Sometimes pain is hard to deal with, but it's better dealt with hands on, with the your husband. Friends are an awesome help, but never lose sight of your family.
Online friendships can be so beneficial but really damaging.
Your husband and daughter are the real deal.

Storyteller wrote:
I have rick, and will continue to do so.

Mel,

This is a response to my asking Annette if she has told her husband if she forgives him.

Rick: Annette, have you told your husband that you forgive him?

Annette: I have rick, and will continue to do so.

"I have rick, and will continue to do so." does not mean that Annette is saying she has me, in any way. As support or otherwise.

I hope that wasn't misunderstood, to mean something else.

Rick, I knew what she meant.
I was never suggesting otherwise.
Your support is a loving brother in Christ. Which you do so well.
Marriage is so hard, it's either the most rewarding or most draining experience.
We have all been there, but it's a commitment that is worth the biggest sacrifice and the most committed fight of our lives.
It's great and it just plain sucks at times, I look at my hubby as my best mate one minute and my worst enemy the next, but he's mine and I am his.
When I gave up he was fighting, when he gave up I was fighting and when when we both gave up God was fighting,
It's bloody hard, but it's worth the fight. It means something.
Something really important, beyond what we sometimes recognise.
We just can't give up the fight.
We can't give in, even when it's the easiest way, because it really means something.
That was all I was trying to say

Ok, good Mel.

And, my side in this issue hasn't changed from the beginning. I'm on the side of their marriage. Period.

Their marriage being healed, is the best for everyone involved. I think the effort by both Annette and her husband needs to be to that end. And hopefully, her husband is working towards healing.

But, if what Annette is saying is true, it's pretty much impossible for healing to take place, if both people aren't on the same page.

Yes, both people DO have to be on the same page, particularly when it comes to the big issues of moral values, commitment, etc. God tells us, except for very extreme circumstances, to not divorce. Yet, there are times when that is unavoidable. I think, to make a go of it, you BOTH have to be determined 1) to fight as hard as necessary for your marriage, with each party working on their own individual and mutual issues; 2) To have the idealistic attitude that divorce is NEVER an option - as it's the unthinkable one; 3) Most importantly, is that the Christian spouse is ultimately trusting an seeking God for healing and solutions. 4) A QUALIFIED/CERTIFIED and very experienced, Biblically oriented Christian counselor could likely be of immense value - and not just someone you pick off of google or that you merely see an ad ("Christian marriage counselor" - and MANY pastors are unqualified to do marriage counseling). Just trying to ride it out on your own is unlikely to work. And one thing a good counselor does is give encouragement and constant reminders that your marriage is worth saving and can get much better. Plus, a good counselor will keep each party accountable. So, just because past counseling wasn't a good experience, that shouldn't taint all counselors.

We are struggling but trying to hold it together.
We have to stay together, at least for now.

There is a lot of pressure and stress with moving the shop but at least its something to focus on.
Counselling, for him, is not an option, neither is God right now.
Ultimately, he wants out as soon as possible. Its not if but when for him but when cant be while daughter is young so I have a few years to work on him.

I know I like a challenge but really?

"so I have a few years to work on him."

Which also, and more importantly, gives God time to work on his heart and mind.

My only suggestions would be to constantly demonstrate the love of Christ within, so that even after his unloading of such a hurtful bombshell, that he's sees you STILL love him, and are not giving up. That doesn't mean to be a doormat, but to be kind and loving, even when he doesn't necessarily deserve it, showing him not only what you are but Who lives within. When people receive love they know they don't deserve and trust that's not shown out of manipulation, but from sincerity - well, that's pretty powerful stuff. It will show him, if he's paying attention, that there is an enormous contrast between your Foundation of love and those of most others. Why would he think he could find anyone more loving or trustworthy than you?

One thing I notice is that so many encounter problems in their marriages, especially when those problems are deep and difficult - and they conclude staying and fighting for that marriage would be far too difficult, as they are too angry, don't see the possibility of future happiness in the situation, etc. And, so, they THINK leaving will bring them quick peace and that another person, somewhere, will be a much better fit, and thus, more likely to make them happy. Mostly, none of that is the case. And so, many want to only blame their spouse for THEIR own shortcomings that have contributed to problems within the marriage. Healing will mean also confronting and taking responsibility for their own stuff. And if they simply leave, they'll merely take that stuff into another futile relationship. The sooner he realizes the "grass isn't greener" elsewhere, and that he must take a long look at himself, the better off he will be. Hopefully, also, he will realize the immense emotional cost and many other impacts on his daughter, on you, economically - all of that. So, it's a good thing to know what you are up against, and that he can't simply, immediately, bail.

Why. is it so hard?
really talking, being honest?
so much pain and anger, and resentment. on both sides.

God is still a no.

But

if

I hang on, listen, forgive, hurt, love and cry
again
and again
and again

and trust in Him
maybe
one day, if we dont, if I dont give up
if I believe, and trust it all to Him
my marriage will be a match, made in Heaven.



always knew God had a special plan for me

Nettie,

All you can do is what you're supposed to do, love your husband and nobody else, and pray for him.

Let God do the rest.

Divorce may be God's plan, but not yet, and between now and then things can change, if. I have my way they will. philip is right, now is my chance to demonstrate everything I believe in.

God wasnt blindsided, I was.

He has me, a tight hold, and im clinging on tight.

Dear God,
Hold me.
Love me.
Guide me.
Please.

I love you.
I thank you.
I am blessed.
Loved.

I trust you.
Have faith in you.
Show me what to do
Help me understand him.

Me: "God, please help me understand my wife."

God: " "

... now is your chance to demonstrate everything you believe in...

you said it well

1over137 wrote:... now is your chance to demonstrate everything you believe in...

you said it well

Annette,

it will be undoubtedly very hard.
Write me in case of need.
Maybe we can face our hardships together.
You yours, me mine...

The last two days have actuallly been good. I am frantically sorting though books as ideally we need to vacate by Monday. Hubbs is taking down shelves, rebuilding them at home. We have been working together, even little un is pitching in.
We are still talking, its still hard but we havent been negative about, or to, each other the last two days either.

I am enveloped by God, I feel close to Him but for hubbs, he isnt ready, yet.

Hana, I may well pm you

Will get back to you all asap, gotta run, more books to sort.

Marriage can definitely be hard. We're at 27 years, TODAY! But, man, we have had some rough patches - mostly because we are both very strong-willed, have tempers, and both of us argue to WIN (which typically never happens in big arguments). But we always know 1) God put us together and 2) we are both exceptionally grateful and blessed by that. We see our boys and the joy they give us, our little family, in our house in the woods, the simple joys we have - all of the tough times we've been through, pressures of jobs, my past health issues - it's all been made far easier having a great partner all these years - we always joke that neither of us could have put up with different people . And, boy, did the past 28 years (of time together) FLY by! I couldn't trade "UP" if I wanted to - plus, I'd have to break someone else in all over again (it took nearly 3 decades on Liz ) - wouldn't want to go through all THAT again!