I don't see where we are in disagreement here. I have not, and you will not see me make the argument that god is not conforming to his own standards. I think the problem of evil is faulty, and I have no problem with suffering in a world created by god, an omni^3 deity, etc.
I'm glad that someone can see that without being a Christian. I've heard some people rely on that argument exclusively to 'disprove' God. After reading some CS Lewis in particular, I think it actually makes more sense for there to be suffering (that is, this world isn't an amusement park for man, its a breeding ground for godly character).
To me, it sounds like you are saying the atheist isn't even ALLOWED to try and argue against God, because the atheist doesn't think god exists. It's a hypothetical IF question. IF god exists, why does the world have suffering. IF zeus exists, why can't we see him on mount olympus. There's a difference between "why did god do this, and IF god exists why did he do this.
I think its totally reasonable to use "If" questions. However, I find that a lot of the time, when an atheist says "If God exists, then...", the next thing they say is something that doesn't make sense -if- God exists. For instance, this problem of evil. If we assume there is no God and then try to argue it, the problem of evil seems valid (at least it does in the context I've mentioned above to some people). However, -if- God exists, its not so much that you can't argue anymore as an atheist, but you suddenly have to take on a whole lot of positions one might not want to take on as an atheist. For instance, -if- God exists, evil is not even up for question. God would solely define evil, and we would be responsible. -If- God exists, the size of the universe and our supposed insignificance is irrelevant. -If- God exists, objections to what God has done through history are meaningless and stupid.
Basically, when an atheist tries to argue theology based on the pre-supposition that God exists, they have 2000+ years of very strong Christian ideas to wrestle with.
So yeah, it's definitely a good thing if an atheist tries to see things as though there was a God to understand a Christian position. Unfortunately, I've never heard one do that.