Short1 wrote:Alright, straight to the point:
My girlfriend and I struggle a bit with fooling around before marriage.. we are entirely committed to not having sex, but we are getting further and further in other forms.. petting and whatnot.
I just think it's kind of weird how marriage makes it instantly okay. Like if I got married tomorrow, it's all good. Is it just because of that lifelong bond that's there? Because nothing else would change, I would love her just as I do now. So are all activities outside of marriage instantly lust? If I married her tomorrow, what would change? Is it possible to do things outside of marriage and not be lusting?
Its not marriage which makes it ok, per se, but the loving protective instructions that comes from your and my Creator for our own benefit. If you can stop enticing yourselves sexually, and wait till your wedding night , you will experience the blessings of having waited which God promises . Plus it will show your future wife the respect, honor you have for her...and that you are a man of integrity by willfully and temporarily postpoing your urges ; it will show great self control to her which she will respect you for endlessly . THIS will mean ALOT both now and later to her. Some other concerns are applicable to your case and can be found in this short treatise ; there are big dividends to NOT listening to our out of control sexually illict culture :
Question : Why is any of that wrong or immoral if nobodies getting
hurt and everyone's having a good time?
Answer :
1. You were not made for that by the Creator of us all. He gave us
moral boundaries so we would not hurt ourselves and others.
2. The Creator established absolute moral laws so we could live
properly and dignified . Our greatest happiness and fulfillment comes
from being in good relationship and standing to our Creator. , and not
from we want to do .
3. A condom will NOT prevent all STD's , plus, condoms come off during
passion, they rip, and they get misapplied . Further, a condom does
not prevent against emotional harm that occurs ...usually moreso for
the woman.
4. The sex act between two people is not only for pleasure, but it is
designed to cement an already good emotional relationship into a
stronger one. Casual hookup sex disregards this which often leads to
people feeling fragmented . , like a tramp later on, and having shared
something very personal with someone who doesnt care about them.
5. Sex was meant to be accompanied with lifelong commitment as in
marriage ; sex is THE most intimate side of a person and it is
supposed to be done in an environment of great safety and security and
privacy .
6. The more One has casual hookup sex, the more desensitized they
become regarding how they view the opposite sex . Guys subconsciously
start to think of women as worthless disposable things which
eventually increases in time. Women start to use a guy for sex so they
can get their emotional tank filled temporarily -- they trade sex for
getting some degree of affection and feeling valued. They get to the
point where they become mechanical and need a re-fix to fill their
emotional tank .
7. Pregnancy can and does result from casual sex and this accounts for
95% of ALL abortions performed . The devastating life time effects for
the woman increases her chance of suicide, depression, anxiety, and
regret especially around the anniversary of the abortion . The
'Mother' knows that she killed her developing baby at the alter of
sexual hedonism even if she tries hard to people who tell her 'its
just a blob' . The 'blob' had a heartbeat at just 18 days old -- most
abortions occur between 12-18 weeks when the baby is developed
substantially . 95% of abortions = 4,000 per day .... murdered
developing american life .
8. Virtually EVERYTHING our culture portrays, is dangerous to oneself
because its philosophies are all about self absorbsion , using others
for selfish gain, taking advantage of others, ego building, and
apathy , etc... We live in a very wrong culture . Its it good and
noble to go against such.
9. A consentual Partner doesnt make a wrong , right ; it makes it a
greater wrong because 2 people double it and are fooled by it.
10. The Creators plan is to have your wedding night as special as
possible so you can say you and your wife waited for each other. This
is a commitment that is highly cherised between two marriage partners.
If youve already blown this, there is a second chance for you to do it
right and God will bless your commitment and help you wait for your
future spouse.
11. We dont have to use our sexual nature. Nothing falls off if we
dont. Realize that our mass media promotes immoral sex for financial
gain and they do not care about you. Purity is a very good thing and
it builds self respect .
12. Some things may be fun, but are very wrong and destructive. And
looking at all the consequences to casual sex including the prevailing
national STD epidemic which is literally killing people early...people
ARE getting hurt and worse. Further, jealous b/f's want to get even ,
divorce occurs due to consenual adultery, and peoples trust levels get
shattered often for life .
13. There is a good feeling to be had from NOT following an out of
control morally degrading Culture and instead living for God . And, he
freely blesses such a life if you are willing to move toward him and
his loving protective laws.
"I never asserted such an absurd proposition, that something could arise without a Cause" -- staunch atheist Philosopher David Hume.
"What this world now needs is Christian love or compassion" -- staunch atheist Bertrand Russell.
