Is this Mastermind's fate?

AttentionKMartShoppers · Tue May 17, 2005 4:19 pm

AttentionallCrackHos...

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Tue May 17, 2005 6:27 pm

You, bizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt, are one of the biggest goof-balls I've seen in long time! Having a wee bit o' fun at my expense, are ya? I occupy the phone line because I'm here, making fun of y'all. If you'd like to call me to actually talk with voices, (how archaic!) then too bad 'cause I'm a modern woman! Yep, and no stinky, rotting, water-hogging flowers will I accept! I'm much too dignified for such a thing! I only accept digital.

BugZapper wrote:who needs to stalk when you give out the Information Freely

Ahem... I'm sending you my bill via e-mail, and expect you to pay electronically.

ElectricChair wrote:You have a Bush for a Friend wow... You stepped up from your last Friend

Yeah, I admit that. A bush is a much better friend than a twig. And he was starting to rot too. I will miss him though. I named him "I'dLikeYouBetterIfYouWereABush". It wasn't the best friendship. And boy, did he have a mouth on him! It was sad, he had to use me as a translater for other people, and I got beat up... oh, a few dozen times, because of what he had me translate.

Hey! You must be stalking me if you knew about I'dLikeYouBetterIfYouWereABush! Well, I hope I unknowingly translated some twig talk to you! I'd sick Bush on ya if I wasn't occupying the phone line here! Then your precious Lillies would see just how powerful our imaginary missiles are! They'd fry, I tell ya! How do you like them apples? I'll bet you don't. I just bet you don't. Got a worm in 'em and everything! Rotten to the core! Got flies buzzin' 'round them too! Fit for a... well fer nothin'! Cause that's what you are, a nothing! Well, you can't be "a" nothing, because nothingness has no physical properties to be "a" of anything. Hmmmm.

What you be callin' me, Martman, (or Fartman as he's known back home in Hickville)?

(Electronic Crackle)"Attention all Kmart shoppers! You may want to avoid aisle five, Marty's there buying baked beans... and Beano, which he thinks does him some good but we all know doesn't. Oh wait, now he's moving toward the regis... nope, he's heading back to aisle seven to pick up some of the adult diapers he lets leak all over our fair town. Yep, now he's heading to the register. I advize all people checking out to pull out their emergency gas masks if you want to remain in line. I told ya you'd need those sometime for that stinky, leaky, pain-in-the-butt! Or should I say smell-in-the-butt... his butt? Okay now folks, Fartman has left the building! Put away the gasmasks and you can return to shopping as usual. Y'all have a nice day!"(Click)

Oh, I crack me up! And I ain't no pill-pusher! At least in the way it's usually meant. I think they have a different term for those who randomly shove breathmints down people's throats. Boy do I get a kick out of them trying to hack it back up! They look like cats with hairballs, convulsing and all!

AttentionKMartShoppers · Tue May 17, 2005 7:00 pm

Beans beans they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart, the better you feel, so eat beans with every meal

Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot.

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:05 pm

Did I really have to be reminded of those songs? My Mom sang them way too much when I was younger, (she's overweight and has frequent and noisy flatulence). They just aren't good memories!

And Marty, after all I wrote of you that's all you have to say? I'm disappointed!

AttentionKMartShoppers · Tue May 17, 2005 7:08 pm

kateliz wrote:Did I really have to be reminded of those songs? My Mom sang them way too much when I was younger, (she's overweight and has frequent and noisy flatulence). They just aren't good memories!

And Marty, after all I wrote of you that's all you have to say? I'm disappointed!

There wasn't much to respond to. You were rambling on about frying apples for half the post.

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:31 pm

But did my rambling make you laugh?

bizzt · Post by **bizzt** » Wed May 18, 2005 7:52 am

This reminds me too much of my Teenage Years!!!

Mastermind · Post by **Mastermind** » Wed May 18, 2005 11:07 am

I've created a monster...

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Wed May 18, 2005 1:39 pm

You have? What'd ya name it? Twinkle Toes?

Felgar · Post by **Felgar** » Wed May 18, 2005 1:42 pm

Mastermind wrote:I've created a monster...

More that you just attracted its attention I think... Like baiting a bear... She was already created.

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Wed May 18, 2005 1:47 pm

Hey! And God created me, thank you! He's the real Master Mind, not this puny little gray child who thinks he's all-that and a rotten Easter egg! Come on, you know you love to eat those!

Mastermind · Post by **Mastermind** » Thu May 19, 2005 4:46 am

I love you too katie.

AttentionKMartShoppers · Thu May 19, 2005 9:04 pm

Three ring service...

"Popcorn, hot dogs..."

Forge · Post by **Forge** » Thu May 19, 2005 9:59 pm

AttentionKMartShoppers wrote:Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot.

I suggest very large suppositories. Those work quite nicely.

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Fri May 20, 2005 10:52 pm

Felgar wrote:Like... a bear

Kmart wrote:Three ring service...

"Popcorn, hot dogs..."

Oh! I get it! I'm the dancing bear.

Question is, who's shooting at my feet, (paws,) to make me dance? I don't own a gun, and I would be too scared to "shoot myself in the foot."