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Re: My journey

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 4:06 am
by Fliegender
Ms Vauxhall wrote: Tue Oct 29, 2019 7:53 pm...

So I don't believe I am on a slippery slope into sin and darkness.

Ah, dear Ms Vauxhall, deadly sins are Envy, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Pride, Sloth and Wrath. Avoid these, go to church every Sunday, take communion, don’t eat meat on Friday, wear a crucifix on a chain around your neck, recite the rosary daily and you should be OK.

Re: My journey

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 9:52 am
by Philip
Story: I have made a promise, in front of God, just fooz and I that I am commiting to him. I am married to him in my soul.
But that is NOT God's definition of what He desires marriage to be!

And A) you have made a promise that God says you are NEVER to make, and B) that promise isn't being made as two in one heart and spirit in the Lord, but is being made by only one person who is committed to the Him - with the other seeing himself with no constraints or values from above or beyond whatever and however HE thinks or desires to live. This is at the heart of why we are to marry ONLY another Believer!

Very key, God's command to not intermarry with unbelievers is also tied to God's vision for His Church:

It’s a partnership that mirrors the redeeming love of Jesus for His Church and all Believers. Marriage is to be more than just a union of two mortals, as God shows it to be an actual reflection of the Gospel (Eph. 5:21–33; Rev. 21:9–27), and parallels the relationship between the Father and the Son (1 Cor. 11:3).

Why would you want to marry someone who has no allegiance to Christ???!!! And you don't need to MARRY someone to witness to them. That's the same lie I used to tell myself when I dated unbelieving women - something that caused me no end of grief and regret. There is simply nothing like being married to one who shares your faith and love of Christ.

[url]Story: I don't believe I am on a slippery slope into sin and darkness.[/url]

The fact that you are unwilling to accept God's instructions on this shows your blindness to it.

Consider God's view and instructions about marriage: https://www.9marks.org/article/can-chri ... -theology/

And this: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-he ... -believer/

Re: My journey

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 12:50 pm
by Storyteller
I hear what you're saying.
Okay, Fooz isn't a Christian but he isn't a non believer either. Fooz is a good man, he would rather be right than happy. His ethics and morals are more in line with the teaching of Christ than a lot of Christians i know.
I know, absolutely, in my soul that him and i being together is what God wants.
I have been through so much and not once did God leave me. He guides me.. Fooz and i didn't actively try to be together, in fact we resisted it, and yet everything leads me back to him. I am most definitely married to him. With my heart, my body and Gods love.

God, and only God, knows what is between Fooz and i.

Are we not meant to judge by our fruits?
Since meeting Fooz i have become a better, happier person. Through his faith in me. His patience. His knowledge. His questions. His support. He supports my faith, he supports me so why is forging a relationship with him bad?

The adultery issue....
He is in the US, i am in the UK.
When i married my ex neither of us were Christian.
I endured domestic violence and abuse in my marraige.
Fooz is the first man, the only man, that i genuinely absolutely trust.
All my life i have believed that there was somewhere out there who completes my jigswa. Fooz does that.

None of us know the mind of God.
There have been situations where i really, really wanted something to be right because it's what i wanted. Fooz is not like that. Either one of us, moreso him, would walk away if that was the right thing to do.

Actions speak louder than words. Judging Fooz on his actions, he knows God. So he won't commit and say it but his actions are those of someone who loves God.

Re: My journey

Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 3:31 pm
by Philip
Annette, you are all over the map in your denial. First, you are sexually involved and not married. And you are apparently involved with many others of whom God’s instructions on this important issue are ignored:
Story: I have a secret, I am involved in the bdsm WORLD...
Which tells me you are in the midst of people practicing what God condemns – it’s one of the sins He has expressed great displeasure in, and one through which Israel was tragically dragged down into all manner of sinful practices and beliefs. No big deal, right???
Story: Okay, Fooz isn't a Christian but he isn't a non believer either.
Story, few pages back: Fooz isn't a Christian, he's agnostic.
THE very definition of a non-believer is a person whom is not submitted / committed to Christ! So, Fooz is a non-believer – don’t fool yourself!
Story: His ethics and morals are more in line with the teaching of Christ than a lot of Christians i know.
What true Christians do you know who don’t have a relationship with Jesus? I can save you the time: NONE! But if you are determined to continue as you have, and especially if you marry this man, in his present spiritual state, I can guarantee you misery will occur – if not soon, eventually. And I’m not saying he’s not a nice enough fellow, etc. But trying to convince us that it must be God’s will for you to be involved in what you are and then also to marry an unbeliever – well, just remember that those here whom love you and know Scripture well have tried hard to warn you.
Story: None of us know the mind of God.
Although we don't know His mind on EVERYTHING, we most certainly DO know His mind per what He’s redundantly stressed in His words of Scripture to us!
Story: There have been situations where i really, really wanted something to be right because it's what i wanted. Fooz is not like that. Either one of us, moreso him, would walk away if that was the right thing to do.
For Fooz, an unbeliever who does not believe in and has not committed himself to following Christ or His words, his ONLY sense of right and wrong is whatever he thinks it to be in a given moment. And that means you are going to have to choose whether to follow God’s word on things, or just go along with Fooz’s sensibilities on any given matter where his sense of morality is in conflict with God’s instructions for living.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?s ... ersion=ESV
Story: Actions speak louder than words. Judging Fooz on his actions, he knows God. So he won't commit and say it but his actions are those of someone who loves God.
IF He loved God, he would come out and say it. He would commit to Christ. And knowing you are a Christian, Annette, why would he not acknowledge something so critically important – not only to his and everyone’s salvation, but THE very foundation for marriage? One's desperation to believe a thing does not make it so!

I wouldn’t have gone on and on if I didn’t truly care about what happens to you both. And I’ll end by once again referencing your own words from your first post in this thread: “I used to think I couldn`t hear God, that`s not true, I just wasn`t listening.” Well, several of us here have been trying hard to reflect back to you God’s instructions on these important matters – but it seems you are stubbornly just not listening. So, all we can do now is pray for you to wake up before further disaster!

Re: My journey

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 1:33 am
by Nicki
Storyteller wrote: Wed Oct 30, 2019 12:50 pm I hear what you're saying.
Okay, Fooz isn't a Christian but he isn't a non believer either. Fooz is a good man, he would rather be right than happy. His ethics and morals are more in line with the teaching of Christ than a lot of Christians i know.
I know, absolutely, in my soul that him and i being together is what God wants.
I have been through so much and not once did God leave me. He guides me.. Fooz and i didn't actively try to be together, in fact we resisted it, and yet everything leads me back to him. I am most definitely married to him. With my heart, my body and Gods love.

God, and only God, knows what is between Fooz and i.

Are we not meant to judge by our fruits?
Since meeting Fooz i have become a better, happier person. Through his faith in me. His patience. His knowledge. His questions. His support. He supports my faith, he supports me so why is forging a relationship with him bad?

The adultery issue....
He is in the US, i am in the UK.
When i married my ex neither of us were Christian.
I endured domestic violence and abuse in my marraige.
Fooz is the first man, the only man, that i genuinely absolutely trust.
All my life i have believed that there was somewhere out there who completes my jigswa. Fooz does that.

None of us know the mind of God.
There have been situations where i really, really wanted something to be right because it's what i wanted. Fooz is not like that. Either one of us, moreso him, would walk away if that was the right thing to do.

Actions speak louder than words. Judging Fooz on his actions, he knows God. So he won't commit and say it but his actions are those of someone who loves God.
I would say unless he really wants to become a Christian, it's not worth continuing the relationship. I thought my husband had 'become a Christian' before we got engaged but now I don't think his heart was really in it. He never wanted (or wants) to talk about God or faith, for one thing. It was far from what I had in mind wanting to marry a Christian man. And wait till you're really married before any more sexual activities. What does the BDSM community involve - doing things around other people or just communicating about it online?

Re: My journey

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 2:25 am
by Storyteller
We talk about God all the time, at length. He has aspergers so for him, he needs empirical proof. He is definitely moving towards Christ.
We live on different continents so waiting until we are married will be easy enough.
The BDSM community covers everything from spanking to swinging. There are message boards, clubs, events and articles. I post on a forum.
My involvement is with him, others play with multiple partners, that's not my thing.
It can be as private and exclusive as you like or as wild and open as you want.
I discuss ideas and feelings, morals, God, safety, all sorts with these people. It's not all whips and chains.
Perhaps me posting i was involved in the BDSM world was the wrong turn of phrase. I indulge in some practices privately and post on a forum, that's it.

Re: My journey

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:25 am
by Byblos
Storyteller wrote: Thu Oct 31, 2019 2:25 am We talk about God all the time, at length. He has aspergers so for him, he needs empirical proof. He is definitely moving towards Christ.
We live on different continents so waiting until we are married will be easy enough.
The BDSM community covers everything from spanking to swinging. There are message boards, clubs, events and articles. I post on a forum.
My involvement is with him, others play with multiple partners, that's not my thing.
It can be as private and exclusive as you like or as wild and open as you want.
I discuss ideas and feelings, morals, God, safety, all sorts with these people. It's not all whips and chains.
Perhaps me posting i was involved in the BDSM world was the wrong turn of phrase. I indulge in some practices privately and post on a forum, that's it.
Annette,

I implore you to do some research on natural law. You can start with this Youtube lecture https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rynlfggqAcU on Natural Law and Sexual Ethics. It's rather lengthy at 90 minutes but trust me, it's well worth the time.

Re: My journey

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:45 am
by Storyteller
I will

Re: My journey

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 4:50 pm
by Storyteller
So...
New Years Eve i had an epiphany...
I had drunk 22 units of alcohol.
I have drunk, pretty much every day of my life since i was 24 years old. I'm 50 this year. Sure, i've had days where i haven't drunk but only because i know i will. If that doesn't make me an alcoholic, what does?
The last two years have been huge for me. My dad died, the depression, splitting from my ex, my leg...
I have come through so much, i talked to my mum today, about drinking, about dad, why we fell out. For the first time ever we broached why things happened as they did. My ex and i, together, were toxic. Apart we are thriving.
I've made friends, i'm really starting to believe in myself.

Most of my friends are atheists.
A fair few involved in bdsm.
Most don't "do" emotion. Yet i connect to them in such a positive way.
Every single one of them thinks i am special, that i bring a light to their lives and each of them inspire me, and instill confidence.
Didn't Christ spend time with those that needed saving? I trust God.
I am becoming who i want to be and everyone i have in my life right now helps me do that.
I am now in a place where i can quit drinking, for me, because i am in control and i i am what i always wanted to be, free.
My faith is... my gift.
Oh, and i'm writing again...
I am healing.

Re: My journey

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 4:54 pm
by Storyteller
Oh, and i talked to an alcohol and drug abuse service...
It's cbt based, know that well. They offer counselling, detox and rehab.
Will get an apt through in the next few days.
I'm finally ready guys...

Re: My journey

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 5:56 pm
by Philip
Annette, I will pray for your next steps and God's guidance. Life sober will bring a far different perspective.

Re: My journey

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:56 pm
by 1over137
My dear Annette,

Happy New Year to you too.
Well, may this year be a blessed one for you.

My fingers crossed for you to finally win over alcoholism.

Also, I hope and pray you have also some Christian friends there around you. :)

Am happy for you that you start to be free.
And Annette, never forget that we are light to the world and other people around us if we follow God's will, His Holy Word.

Thinking of you Annette...

Re: My journey

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 7:29 pm
by Fliegender
Storyteller wrote: Fri Jan 03, 2020 4:50 pm So...
New Years Eve i had an epiphany...
I had drunk 22 units of alcohol....
22 drinks?! How are you not in an alcoholic coma?! I had 3 miserable glasses of wine* on New Year’s Eve and the next day I woke with a headache.

:cheers:

*relax, legalists. It was holy wine.

Re: My journey

Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 4:25 pm
by Philip
Not a drop, NY's eve. I only like good, dark European beers - absolutely detest American (see, horse pee pee) beer. Might drink red wine with the right meal. But overall, I've lost any great attraction to alcohol. Booze just makes me sleepy and dehydrates me. I might by a choice 6-pack and won't finish it for a couple of months.

Re: My journey

Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 6:38 pm
by Fliegender
Philip wrote: Sun Jan 05, 2020 4:25 pm Not a drop, NY's eve. I only like good, dark European beers - absolutely detest American (see, horse pee pee) beer... I might by a choice 6-pack and won't finish it for a couple of months.
Dark European beers? Try Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier from Germany. A rauchbier is made from malted barley smoked over a wood fire. Any rauchbier will have a smoky taste. American and Canadian versions tend to overdo the smokiness and end up tasting like liquid campfires. Aecht Schlenkerla invented the type and are still the best. Not for sissies.

A six pack lasts you a couple on months? You need a social life...