edwardmurphy wrote:Experienced as a member of the community, or as an attendee of the concert or a passer-by or something?
Either way, that must have been terrifying and heart breaking. I know it sounds trite, but that's awful and I'm glad you're okay. And in the defense of everyone you've previously spoken to, that's a damned hard conversation.
Has the experience changed your opinions about anything? Is there more you'd like to share?
I was not at the concert. That would have put me in the kill zone. I was just outside it on the street near Mandalay Bay and Luxor running during the end of the attack. Hopefully the casinos will release more video that shows me and the others running away. At first I thought it was a gang battle or police shootout or terrorist attack. There is allot more I'd like to share but I'm waiting on the casinos to release thier CC eye in the sky videos. This should rule out the multiple shooters.
There are too many details to share. But basically I ran like a coward to the sounds of "rat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat" on foot to the Excaliber where it was supposidly safe. Nobody knew where the shooters were. I say shooters because sounded like multiple shooters. Like an organized terrorist attack. On the ground level. It did not sound like it was coming from up high. Thats why you see everyone ducking in the concert videos then running like hell when they relize it's from a perch.
In retrospect I think there was some kind of aucustic sound phenom going on. I hope myth busters or some other group can prove this by firing blanks someday from the same location. So anyways I fled on foot to the Excaliber. I know this sounds tasteless but I started playing roulette trying to distract myself. Suddenly waves of people started coming over from Mandalay Bay and Luxor into Excaliber through the tunnel. Now I'm thinking what are these people running from. OMG someone is chasing them over here. I went up the ecalator to the "Octane Bar". Figured maybe I was over reacting. I was talking with a guy who was there. A cowboy from Scotland. Dude looked like a male stripper. I didn't even think they had cowboys in Scotland but anways he was sweating buckets and his eyes were as big as saucers telling me about someone who got hit instead of him thereby blocking the rounds with chest and dying. People thought it was an attack from "Antfi" or "Nazis". Tons of speculations. Everyone inc me complaining why the none of the casino guards were not armed and why nobody had a gun. It was a state of confusion.How can you be a 2nd ammendment supporting country music fan and not have a gun. Some blonde lady freaked out on me big time in the lobby screaming at me like I was one of the shooters just for me asking her what the shooter looked like. Screaming at me like a psycho women. I just wanted to know if the shooters were middle easterners brown.not-white.
So I was at the Octane Bar and suddenly everyone heard 2 or 3 shots fired, It was 2 for sure but might have been three. it sounded like it was coming from directly behind the Octane bar but I went back and found it must have come from the casino or in the escaltors. If anyone is in Las Vegas I and interested I can show you exaclty were I'm talking about. The sound was LOUD as hell man. LOUD. BANG ! BANG ! and (I think another) BANG ! Then people started to split running like hell. I've never seen a fat women run so fast in my life. Once I realized what was happening (there is an active shooter in the buildling) I ran into the buffet area. Again this is what I thought was going on. I did not want to follow the crowd running so I broke off through the buffet area ran through the kitchen area and like you see on that movie "21" when those card counters are running from security. They have all that stuff back there. Somehow made my way up to some kind of roof area. A housekeeper was there and the closet was open. Thank God. I told her I was going in the closet because it locked from the outside. She was from Africa and had a hard time understanding me but finally she got there was a possible killer on the loose downstairs and she ran like hell.
Spent 5+ hours in that closet on my cell reading the talking to my parents, texting, reading the bible, and the twitter reports saying there were active shooters in all the hotels. I called the police 3 times and they refused to come up saying the Excaliber was not safe or "cleared" yet but the police had the casino "secrured". Mom and brother also called the Police asking them to help me and they refused. Police refused to provide more information, I kept asking if there was an active shooter and she said just stay hiding there are people hiding all over the hotels. Do not come out until an officer comes to get you.,
Even though factually as it turns out - I was in zero danger . Yet I believed I was just waiting to be killed. And it was only a matter of time. Sitting waiting like a fish for some Middle Eastern guy in fatuiges to kick in the door. It felt awful.
The thing is, and this is why I feel I need a Christian counselor in my personal life, I was thinking, these guys were doing me a favor somehow, maybe that I deserved to die, because God gave me many chances in life .. and blessed me and I'm not doing whatever it was I was put here to do .. so maybe God has already decided my fate. I've living selfish, smoking tobacco, drinking, gambling, doing whippets (nitrus oxide) going to sporting events, wasting my life on this stuff.. instead of doing whatever it is I'm "supposed to do" because I'm bored. . . At the same time I was really upset at myself because I did not have a gun on me.I wanted to at least go out in style.
Now I feel a little different. Like my life is vaulable. I need to do something. I've been sinning and taking my life for granted. Viewing life a as a chore. Under my "layers" (as BW Melvin eplains in his book Hells Dominion and on here) I've been taking this arrogant high handed attitude thinking I deserve to go to heaven just for the "indignity" of having to go through life on this Godforsaken planet. When God/Jesus suffered the ultimate unimaginable indignity on this earth and I have it better than 99% of the worlds population. I think like this and complain inside myself like this. Quarelling and blaming the Lord for everything that doesn't go my way. This a big time sin. I watch porno then accuse God of making me do it because he refuses to send me a wife. But that is my fault because I am a selfish arrogant person. It has nothing to do with God. I know this. Yet I still persist. I was thinking about this and trying to ask for forgiveness in the closet because I am not a bad person compared to most people. I keep this stuff inside so It's not external sins just internal. So I'm asking God to forgive me and felt forgiven and ok if I should die. Biut at the same time something inside saying "You loser" "you deserve to die" "God isn't going to forgive you" "it's too late for you" "God doesn't want you" "that's why your here" "you blew it". I was trying to shake it off. God blessed my life with perfect parents, upper middle class, perfect Christain upbring, Strong father figure, surfing , now I have a good career making good money. I had it better than most people yet all I can do is b-itch and complain to God and my parents (who are holy people) about how it's all not good enough. I demand God "delete me" or blast me off into non-exsistance after I die. I demand God not re-incarnate me. I say things inside my head like "if this is the best you can do I don't want to come back here". Crazy insanity.
I've have been making tiny little slivers of progress since the shooting. But I'm concerned about going to hell. Watching all these NDE flicks I get the impression that most people are going to hell. If thats true maybe I'm going too. For being a "minimum wage Christian".
This was a wake up call. I left the Palms Casino at 10:00pm. I'd only been there 30 minutes or so and I was already gambling. Yet I felt this strong urge to go gamble at Mandaly Bay and Luxor. Like Uber over there now in order to win some cash. Your gonna get lucky. Hurry up go, was the feeling. So I was meant to be there.
The bottom line is I need to do something with my life to help people in some way. I need to earn my way into heaven. Faith matching deeds like James says. I just honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do. God put us all here for a reason but I don't know what my reason is for being here other than getting through life... trying to be a good person... polite to people, and working being responsible.
I live a selfish life and this has got to stop. I need to find out whatever it was I was meant to do. I hope God heals all the victims familes. They had it 10000000000000000X worse that me and I'm running on at the mouth here.