Questions from an agnostic
Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 2:58 am
Hello there,
i recently stumbled across this site while doing a search on google. since i'm here i'd like to take the time to tell you about my self. i'm 18 and currently attending college. the reason i'm here is because i'm very skeptical about alot of things concerning the bible, 'god', life and death. i was raised in a normal household and taught traditional christian values all of my life. at certain times in my life i had questioned my faith because i didnt have enough proof to support my beliefs. whenever i would ask a family member a difficult question, such as "who created god?", they would simply respond "i dont know, i have faith and thats all i need". for a while, it worked for me and i continued to have faith. but it didnt last for long because i had so many unanswered questions.
it wasn't untill last year that i serioulsy began to look for answers. as i attended science class every day in high school, i had to learn about darwins theory because we base all of our work off of that theory. in order to do my work, you had to know about the theory of evolution and the big bang. the more i began to read, the less i began to believe in christ. it wasnt long before i began to loose my faith. i went trough a long period of depression and anxiety because i was looking for answerws that i couldnt find. i wanted to belive in something(the bible) but outside sources where conflicting with my beliefs. over time, i leaned more towards darwins theory. i started to question the meaning of life and what happens when we die. i just couldnt accept dying and never being able to see my loved ones again.
one day i was watching tv and i came across a christian channel and i saw a program with doctor kent hovind. he was explaining the vast flaws in darwins theory and i was amazed by what i saw! after seeing it the first time, i tuned in every thursday night to watch the program. it greatly increased my faith for a short period of time. eventually i started to believe again but something was still missing. i didnt feel like i had a personaly relationship with this supposed creator. i fell back into my current beliefs because i feel that it's easier and more acceptable in society. as of right now, i dont believe or dissbelieve in god. i just dont know what to do. a part of me wants to believe in something but i feel that if i do believe, it will limit my knowledge and i dont want to be closed minded. therefore, i cant be a christian or atheist.
the other day my mother asked me to go to church with her and i told her no. when she asked me why, i told her that i dont believe in god and it's not necessary for me to go to church. she told me that one day i wont have anything but faith. for her, faith alone seems to get her through hardships but it's not enough for me. she allways thought that i "believed in and knew god personally". the truth is, i dont. being agnostic gives me a sense of open mindedness, yet it gives me a sense of insecurity. i'm a deep thinker and if i belive solely in the bible, i can't accept other theorys but if i do, i have an identity and a true purpose. my question to you is, how do i really find god? if there is a god, how do find him and have a personaly relationship with him?
i recently stumbled across this site while doing a search on google. since i'm here i'd like to take the time to tell you about my self. i'm 18 and currently attending college. the reason i'm here is because i'm very skeptical about alot of things concerning the bible, 'god', life and death. i was raised in a normal household and taught traditional christian values all of my life. at certain times in my life i had questioned my faith because i didnt have enough proof to support my beliefs. whenever i would ask a family member a difficult question, such as "who created god?", they would simply respond "i dont know, i have faith and thats all i need". for a while, it worked for me and i continued to have faith. but it didnt last for long because i had so many unanswered questions.
it wasn't untill last year that i serioulsy began to look for answers. as i attended science class every day in high school, i had to learn about darwins theory because we base all of our work off of that theory. in order to do my work, you had to know about the theory of evolution and the big bang. the more i began to read, the less i began to believe in christ. it wasnt long before i began to loose my faith. i went trough a long period of depression and anxiety because i was looking for answerws that i couldnt find. i wanted to belive in something(the bible) but outside sources where conflicting with my beliefs. over time, i leaned more towards darwins theory. i started to question the meaning of life and what happens when we die. i just couldnt accept dying and never being able to see my loved ones again.
one day i was watching tv and i came across a christian channel and i saw a program with doctor kent hovind. he was explaining the vast flaws in darwins theory and i was amazed by what i saw! after seeing it the first time, i tuned in every thursday night to watch the program. it greatly increased my faith for a short period of time. eventually i started to believe again but something was still missing. i didnt feel like i had a personaly relationship with this supposed creator. i fell back into my current beliefs because i feel that it's easier and more acceptable in society. as of right now, i dont believe or dissbelieve in god. i just dont know what to do. a part of me wants to believe in something but i feel that if i do believe, it will limit my knowledge and i dont want to be closed minded. therefore, i cant be a christian or atheist.
the other day my mother asked me to go to church with her and i told her no. when she asked me why, i told her that i dont believe in god and it's not necessary for me to go to church. she told me that one day i wont have anything but faith. for her, faith alone seems to get her through hardships but it's not enough for me. she allways thought that i "believed in and knew god personally". the truth is, i dont. being agnostic gives me a sense of open mindedness, yet it gives me a sense of insecurity. i'm a deep thinker and if i belive solely in the bible, i can't accept other theorys but if i do, i have an identity and a true purpose. my question to you is, how do i really find god? if there is a god, how do find him and have a personaly relationship with him?