I just love that God speaks to me all the time. Was worried for a little while there that I had fallen into disfavor, (and for a reason I wasn't even aware of,) but it was a time of faith testing and drawing me to Him. Now He is showing me that. He is keeping Himself at a distance in a certain way, and by that causing me, (in answer to prayer,) to grasp after Him in sincere and self-sacrificing love! I just love Him!!!
He's been talking to me again while still keeping His small distance and keeping my arms outstretched toward Him. He leads and guides me and makes my heart to yearn for the path of righteousness in lowly humility. To be brought low in spirit is to be brought nigh to God in the heavenlies!
No, no pride. Boasting in our Saviour, yes, but no pride. Point to Him! Declare His Goodness! Hug Him tightly with your words in front of others! Cry for joy out of love for your Good Father! But that's how I feel, not how I act.
God has given me a task. I said, "Master, I want to serve you. Please give me a job that you want to do through me." And He was way ahead of me. He has been preparing me for this very task for two years now, and now He has presented the job to me. He has given me Godly love for which to do the task. He has arranged things for it. My sinful nature keeps forcing itself in the way, but I have brought it before my Master so that it can't hinder His work. I'm doing a very poor job as yet, but it's just begun and I have a ton to learn. It might be my first official job as a servant- one I asked for and am aware of. One I have been prepared for ahead of time. I must keep in mind that it's my Master's job, not my own. I'm merely a willing vessel. Let Him work through me, instead of me botching it up with my throughly corrupt flesh.
Maybe I'll write more of this later, I gotta go serve a friend now!