Neked'

[AttentionKMartShoppers]

Worst Activists Ever

Every year in Pamplona, Spain, over a million people watch and/or participate in the Running of the Bulls. People — and by that I mean idiots — try to run ahead of a stampede of bulls in the narrow streets. The bulls have killed 15 idiots since 1924. I think you can appreciate the valuable service the bulls are performing.

Later that day, Matadors torture and kill the bulls for entertainment. It's a popular vacation destination for the whole family.

The part that got my attention is that hundreds of animal rights activists always attend to protest. Many of the female activists protest by going topless and running with the bulls. That's right: In order to make this event LESS popular, the female activists take off their tops and jog in front of onlookers.

Keep in mind that this is a crowd of people who hope to see bystanders get gored before the animals are all stabbed to death. I hate to categorize people, but which of these items do you think would have the best chance of discouraging folks that enjoy watching bulls get stabbed?

1. Classical music
2. Poetry reading
3. T*ts

The thing that frustrates me most is that when I make people mad with my comic or blog, all they ever do is send angry e-mails. I never get the naked female activists jogging in front of my office. Apparently you have to stab animals to get the VIP treatment. This is the sort of thing that no one tells you before you become a vegetarian.

For the record, as far as you know, I am stabbing my cat with a Uniball pen right now. Bring it on!

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