Mid life crisis?

[FFC]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I would appreciate prayer. I have been feeling depressed more often lately, and for the first time in my life experiencing panic/anxiety attacks. Maybe it's something physical but it's not fun. I know that it doesn't help that lately I have been looking back over my life and thinking what a waste it has been...for God, my family, my relationships, and of course me. I'm thinking I've probably been too selfish and that is why I am where I am. I never consciously meant to be, but in retrospect I guess I have been. Don't worry I don't plan to jump off of any bridges, but if I had my choice, like paul, I wouldn't mind being present with the Lord right now.

Please keep me in your prayers if you think of it. I'm also open to any feedback both positive or negative.

Thanks
John (FFC)

[zoegirl]

I will be praying

[andyredeemed]

Bless you, John. Praying for you.
I don't know if you are a charismatic or not, but if you are, and you speak in tongues, spend some time praying in tongues every day.
Paul writes that those who speak in tongues edify (lit. build up)themselves, and you sound like you need edifying! In every post I have seen to which you have replied, you have been uniformly kind, generous and good-humored, so I think you probably haven't been wasting your time over the years, I reckon you're just hard on yourself. Have a BEAN, as we say in our church! ( trans. Be Encouraged and Appreciated Now!)

[bizzt]

I am praying!!!

I think we all go through a moment in life where we look back and say what Good have I done? You know one thing though!! It is in these moments of Reflection that we strive to do better. So we can perform the acts that Jesus has commanded us to do. Another thing God allows these Valleys to show his Love to us. It is the same as a Father who allows his Child to taste disappointment, and hurt so they can overcome it.

Luk 9:48 And said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.

[Canuckster1127]

FFC,

My prayers are with you. I've wrestled with depression to varying degrees all my life, and moreso since my cancer surgery in 1986 which has created some physical consequences that contribute to it.

You're way ahead of the game by recognizing what is going on and asking for prayer. Don't be afraid to go to the next step and seek some help from your pastor or a good Christian Counsellor if this continues or intensifies.

For me, what works best to deal with this is to focus in my devotions on the glory of God. When I focus more on Him than on my problems, I find my perspective changes. It also helps to look outside of myself and focus on how I can be a blessing to others by service or prayer.

This isn't always enough though and I know it can sound trite. We do have stages in life in which we look at where we are and grieve over lost opportunities, damaged relationships and a sense of failure. Grieving is healthy where there is real loss and it's a process. It's also a wake-up to keep praying, and re-evaluating where we are with God with others and in terms of our own calling and life. The best cure for the grief of lost opportunities is a healthy dose of hope that the future can be better if we draw closer to God and focus on what God tells us is most important.

Maybe there's something God is wanting to show you that will make the future better.

I'm praying for you and I think I understand some of it. Hang in there. Go through it and believe there's better days ahead.

Bart

[Judah]

Well, I'm sending you a big hug as well.

There will always be some regrets when we look back and realize that time and opportunities have been seemingly wasted for one reason or another. However, I do caution you to the harshness of judging yourself with the benefit of hindsight - the benefit of knowledge that you did not have then at the time. So do not be too tough on yourself. It is better to take stock of the NOW and seek what is God's Will for you from this moment onwards. I'm sure He still sees you as relatively useful and is bound to have a bunch of Good Works lined up for you to get stuck into. There are bound to be better days ahead for you. Midlife is the opportunity to re-group and charge ahead for the next umpteen plus years when you get further opportunities to take stock and go ahead again. Each time you give up a little more of those expectations and dreams and unrealistic goals; each time you face reality again from a new perspective; each time God has a strong dose of His tender-loving-kindness and compassion especially for you to help yourself to, and a bunch more Good Works to keep you well entertained. Don't let yourself become too moroose by looking backwards. Instead, look forwards, not with gloomy thoughts, but with the knowledge that every day is another fresh start and you are on your journey with Him and what He has planned for you.

I've often wished I could have my twenties back to live all over again - and I would live them a great deal differently another time around. I have often kicked myself over how much of that time I selfishly wasted. But then, despite my own self-criticisms, I have found that seemingly wasted time has served as preparation for other purposes - the kind of ministry that He has given me today. It occurred to me then that God is so much more patient than we are, and He will take His time to prepare us for what He wants us to do. There is an interesting note about Moses written in Halley's Bible Handbook after the commentary on Deuteronomy...

Here closes the first fourth of the Old Testament (almost as large as the entire New Testament), all written by one man, Moses. What a man Moses must have been! How intimate with God! What a work he did! What a benefactor to mankind! Forty years in the Palace of Pharaoh. Forty years a refugee in Midian. Forty years leader of Israel in the wilderness. Delivered a nation of some 3,000,000 from servitude; transplanted them from one land to another; organized for them a system of jurisprudence that has been a fountain source of much os the world's civilization.

Well, I'm not expecting you to lead 3 million people through the Red Sea or anything quite that spectacular, but my point is the very long times that must have seemed to Moses like years and years wasted before anything worthwhile was achieved. Jesus had a 3 year ministry after 30 years of preparation. FFC, at this point you simply don't know what lies ahead of you. The past is preparation for whatever comes next, and I come back to my earlier tease - I'm sure He still has plenty of use for you yet!
A big hug and my prayers for you too.

[bizzt]

Well, I'm sending you a big hug as well.

There will always be some regrets when we look back and realize that time and opportunities have been seemingly wasted for one reason or another. However, I do caution you to the harshness of judging yourself with the benefit of hindsight - the benefit of knowledge that you did not have then at the time. So do not be too tough on yourself. It is better to take stock of the NOW and seek what is God's Will for you from this moment onwards. I'm sure He still sees you as relatively useful and is bound to have a bunch of Good Works lined up for you to get stuck into. There are bound to be better days ahead for you. Midlife is the opportunity to re-group and charge ahead for the next umpteen plus years when you get further opportunities to take stock and go ahead again. Each time you give up a little more of those expectations and dreams and unrealistic goals; each time you face reality again from a new perspective; each time God has a strong dose of His tender-loving-kindness and compassion especially for you to help yourself to, and a bunch more Good Works to keep you well entertained. Don't let yourself become too moroose by looking backwards. Instead, look forwards, not with gloomy thoughts, but with the knowledge that every day is another fresh start and you are on your journey with Him and what He has planned for you.

I've often wished I could have my twenties back to live all over again - and I would live them a great deal differently another time around. I have often kicked myself over how much of that time I selfishly wasted. But then, despite my own self-criticisms, I have found that seemingly wasted time has served as preparation for other purposes - the kind of ministry that He has given me today. It occurred to me then that God is so much more patient than we are, and He will take His time to prepare us for what He wants us to do. There is an interesting note about Moses written in Halley's Bible Handbook after the commentary on Deuteronomy...

Here closes the first fourth of the Old Testament (almost as large as the entire New Testament), all written by one man, Moses. What a man Moses must have been! How intimate with God! What a work he did! What a benefactor to mankind! Forty years in the Palace of Pharaoh. Forty years a refugee in Midian. Forty years leader of Israel in the wilderness. Delivered a nation of some 3,000,000 from servitude; transplanted them from one land to another; organized for them a system of jurisprudence that has been a fountain source of much os the world's civilization.

Well, I'm not expecting you to lead 3 million people through the Red Sea or anything quite that spectacular, but my point is the very long times that must have seemed to Moses like years and years wasted before anything worthwhile was achieved. Jesus had a 3 year ministry after 30 years of preparation. FFC, at this point you simply don't know what lies ahead of you. The past is preparation for whatever comes next, and I come back to my earlier tease - I'm sure He still has plenty of use for you yet!
A big hug and my prayers for you too.

NICELY PUT and a BIG AMEN

[FFC]

Thanks to everyone! You guys...and girls are the greatest. I do feel much better. I've always had a tendency to think negatively and get down on myself, and lately I'm been a "little" worse than usual. Thanks for lovingly calling me on it. It's funny, when somebody else is going through something like this I usually know just what to say to them, but when it's me it's different.

Anyway, thanks to all who prayed, exhorted, and encouraged.

FFC

[Judah]

Now that's more like it!

[B. W.]

Thanks to everyone! You guys...and girls are the greatest. I do feel much better. I've always had a tendency to think negatively and get down on myself, and lately I'm been a "little" worse than usual. Thanks for lovingly calling me on it. It's funny, when somebody else is going through something like this I usually know just what to say to them, but when it's me it's different.

Anyway, thanks to all who prayed, exhorted, and encouraged.

FFC

I do not think anyone is immune from the Mid-life Crisis. We all look back and say, “Man oh man, I have not made a difference at all. What is the use of it all.” I too have done my fair share meditating these things under the broom-tree, 1 Kings 19:4.

It is not the great and glorious things we do that make our lives full of purpose and filled with life. It is the simple things and unseen things that make one great in the eyes of the Lord. For example, when caring for my dying father in law back summer/fall of 2005 I sat with him, cleaned him, changed the depends, read the bible to him, prayed, listen to his life's regrets he had in raising his family, held his hand, was there in the room when he passed on to heaven's land. Or helping my Nephews after their mother abandoned them and helped raise them as my own children. Not getting mad at my wife when I had the right too but rather forgave and gave her a hung instead of a fight.

Helping out when kind words or a proactive rebuke was necessary, making mistakes and learning not to do them again. Standing by helpless watching my own father consumed with Alzheimer's and just hold his hand, praying with my mother, praying for my friends as well as my enemies. Not much of a life is it? Rather mundane — nothing great. Who else would have stepped up to the plate if not I?

FFC — In your life - Who else would have stepped up to the plate if not you?

Matthew 25:37
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[zoegirl]

Sometimes teaching can be a very frsutrating job because, really, we will not know, for the most part, how our job ends up (what is the result of our impact on these students).

Doctors know, builders know, landscapers know... but they leave at the eand of the year and I may never know my impact...this is why I like mowing the lawn At the end of it, the grass is shorter, I see the result.

KNow, though, that you are an integral part of God's plan. He uses us to His will

[zoegirl]

nicely said, BW

[Gman]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I would appreciate prayer. I have been feeling depressed more often lately, and for the first time in my life experiencing panic/anxiety attacks. Maybe it's something physical but it's not fun. I know that it doesn't help that lately I have been looking back over my life and thinking what a waste it has been...for God, my family, my relationships, and of course me. I'm thinking I've probably been too selfish and that is why I am where I am. I never consciously meant to be, but in retrospect I guess I have been. Don't worry I don't plan to jump off of any bridges, but if I had my choice, like paul, I wouldn't mind being present with the Lord right now.

Wow.. John, in reading your post here it really reminds me of how I think too.. Like you, I'm in my 40's and am single. Many times I wonder how my life stacks up with God.. And you know what? I don't think my reunion with God is going to be a bed of roses. When I look at all the silly idiotic things things I've done with my life, those things far outweigh any good things I've done, I'm sure of that... I've come to accept myself as being an evil person, (and I'm content with that). I guess the only thing that keeps me going is the forgiveness of Christ. Things that encourage me are similar to Paul's experiences too.. In fact, if you really study Paul's life in the NT, before he dies in Rome and comes closer to God he realizes the blackness of his own soul.. To me that is what being close to God is. God is so bright that the closer you get to him, the more you realize how empty you are.. In other words, maybe you are closer to God than you think..

[FFC]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I would appreciate prayer. I have been feeling depressed more often lately, and for the first time in my life experiencing panic/anxiety attacks. Maybe it's something physical but it's not fun. I know that it doesn't help that lately I have been looking back over my life and thinking what a waste it has been...for God, my family, my relationships, and of course me. I'm thinking I've probably been too selfish and that is why I am where I am. I never consciously meant to be, but in retrospect I guess I have been. Don't worry I don't plan to jump off of any bridges, but if I had my choice, like paul, I wouldn't mind being present with the Lord right now.

Wow.. John, in reading your post here it really reminds me of how I think too.. Like you, I'm in my 40's and am single. Many times I wonder how my life stacks up with God.. And you know what? I don't think my reunion with God is going to be a bed of roses. When I look at all the silly idiotic things things I've done with my life, those things far outweigh any good things I've done, I'm sure of that... I've come to accept myself as being an evil person, (and I'm content with that). I guess the only thing that keeps me going is the forgiveness of Christ. Things that encourage me are similar to Paul's experiences too.. In fact, if you really study Paul's life in the NT, before he dies in Rome and comes closer to God he realizes the blackness of his own soul.. To me that is what being close to God is. God is so bright that the closer you get to him, the more you realize how empty you are.. In other words, maybe you are closer to God than you think..

Thanks, dude. You do understand. I definately feel like an evil person most of the time as well. I would love to be able to take a pill that would make me perfect in all of my relationships...most of all with God (which technically I know we are anyway) but you know what I mean. Sin sucks and I'm so tired of being taken to the mat by it. How can I encourage someone in the Lord if I find myself failing so much? Something needs to give.

If feeling like a miserable failure makes me closer to God than I'm right there, Gman.

Thank God it is Jesus who delivers me from the body of this death...otherwise I'd be up the proverbial creek.

[Gman]

If feeling like a miserable failure makes me closer to God than I'm right there, Gman.

Thank God it is Jesus who delivers me from the body of this death...otherwise I'd be up the proverbial creek.

Most excellent dude.. Hey, God came for the broken hearted, the misfits who have no home.. If that is what we are called by society then so be it...

Cheers,
G -