Ok, when I was about 5 or 6 years old, I had asked Christ to save me! Then it BEGAN... I asked Christ to come into my heart and to save me from going to Hell... numerous times after that < based off of what I was feeling! All my life, I have had doubts.... and this was the Devils plan... to keep me imobile .... when I came to a certain age in 1995 < I am 30 now... I threw up my hands and called upon the Lord and said to HIM, I don't want to believe in Baptism or good works ... I just simply want to believe in YOU Lord Jesus to take me to Heaven when I die or when you return... < which ever happens first..... a week later, my "Feelings" got the best of me yet again... and I started to go through the sinners prayer again... I stopped and recanted what I said, and told the Lord that I meant it last week and that I am Leaving it there.... the DOUBTS flew away....
But here is the Nasty NOW and NOW.... now, I am at a point where I Rebuked and Forsook 2 particular sins in my life... because I want to move Foward for HIM..... because most of my life.... I was on and off again with Christ... < this is NOW a BIG battle... to PROVE me.... the torment I feel in my bones is that I feel < again with feelings... I feel lost.... because NOW, I want to live holier by rebuking those 2 sins.... I at first did not want to post this.... but with Prayer and repenting and doing this and doing my best to do HIS will, < I am feeling much better.... not to discard feelings... < I know HE wants us Happy... but it is FAITH that makes us SAVED... and its NOT OUR FAITH... its HIS..... I KNOW that all I have to do is just accept HIM at HIS word and LET IT GO!
My Mentor told me, its simply going to take TIME.... but to basically ... well, one day, I will stop living in unhealthy Fear of GOD and I will get into a healthy Fear of HIM again! < In other words the doubts will fly away soon.... but, I Have to stop beating myself up and to just simply let it go and TAKE HIM at HIS word... when I keep doing that... and I keep rebuking the Devil... the Devil and myself (flesh) keep me doubting.... because I doubted to begin with!
I know once Saved always Saved and I believe that < with all of what I can believe it with.... and not to sound like an emotional wimp or big baby.... how come, I feel like I don't believe that anymore < which is another BAND wagon the Devil chymes in on and tells me that I have Forsaken GOD and have done the unpardonable sin... < which I know is a lie.... because of what my mentor told me.... I am HIS.... simply put... I just want to get MORE strength in my Faith in Christ... in what HE did for me and to NEVER lose sight of that... to simply KEEP STRONG on WHAT HE SAYS and NOT what I FEEL!
And to basically get those RIGHT feelings instead of the, unhealthy fealing Fear!
I need your prayers.... I don't want to fall back and keep asking Christ to save me over and over.... that shipped Sailed back in July of 1995!
Basically all in all..... I am at the point of where I am RIGHT there at living HOLIER than what I was before, but, I can very well SEE that the Devil is battle-ing me and causing me to doubt ... and is keeping me from witnessing and telling others about HIM and what HE did!
In fact, I feel a slight anger or jealousy of when I see people getting baptized and saved.... and I know in my HEAD which is my heart... that I do NOT want to FEEL that way.... I want to be happy and to cheer for GOD knowing that, that person is going to Heaven ....
Again, not trying to sound like a wimp... just truly searching and asking GOD to give me peace and strength in my feelings to simply TAKE HIM at HIS WORD and NOT my OWN and or MY Feelings.... just HIM! And then, I will be able to MOVE from there ... Living a MORE HOLY SPIRIT FILLED LIFE and my feelings.... will be in a Happier state than they are right now..... and I will be MORE confident to witness.....
I was told to witness anyway... < that works.... but, because I am at another Level of being a better Christian... this FULL on ATTACK from Satan.... has clouded me.... and I just seem to feel Lost and that I never accepted Christ to beging with.... < and I know that is not true... but that is what the Devil tells me... and because of my past sin.... I fall for it.... < ding ding of me huh!?
I will say one thing..... it feels to better to have written all of this out!
Its like, I know I believe.... but I just felt like I got lost again... and I know that HE saved me ONCE... because HE only died ONCE...... FEELINGS........ can't live with them..... and you can't live without them!
Please Pray and please leave me any comments or suggestions!
In Christ with all my heart,
Richie of Texas
LOST again!??!???? < Strong doubting of my Salvation!
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Arthur_777
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JCSx2
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Re: LOST again!??!???? < Strong doubting of my Salvation!
Richie,
I have talked to God about you and I trust he will answer my Prayers.
As for you talk to the Lord on a Daily Basis, make him a constant companion in your life.
When you wake up tell him Good Morning, when you eat thank him for the food, when you get cut, tell him how you should have been paying attention and how much it hurts (whatever the situation).
God is always there, through good and bad, he has a path for you. You may not know what lies in store for you but keep faith in God, for he is your constant companion, You need to make sure you make him your constant companion also.
WE ALL slip in sin that is just our nature as humans, it is not an excuse or a reason to keep sinning, it just is.
The Sun rises we sin, it rains we sin, the wind blows we sin. Keep faith in God and ask for genuine forgiveness of your sins.
Jesus paid the price for all of us, lets take advantage of that "government cheese".
Do not feel ashamed to be his servant; do not be ashamed that you do not live up to the role of Jesus. NO ONE alive will live up to the role of Jesus even the most Holy Humans in our eyes fall short of expatiations.
Mother Theresa, she was a Great and beautiful example; but she fell short, just as all of us will.
God is there for you everyday, you just need to remember he is there, and talk to him about everything. He likes that. Be his constant companion, and you will realize that he is already your constant companion.
When we feel like he has abandoned us, it is because we have not been talking to him like we should.
If you sit in a room with someone and ignore what they are saying to you and you do not answer back or initiate conversation, than you may as well be alone in the room for it seems like you already are. BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Keep the faith and I will pray again for you. God has a plan, just hop on his wagon, and see where it takes you. There is no GPS here, just faith he will take you to his home through a roundabout way. Good and bad, he doesn't always take us through the good parts of town.
Peace
Jim
EDIT:
I see this is your first post. Welcome to the board.
I have talked to God about you and I trust he will answer my Prayers.
As for you talk to the Lord on a Daily Basis, make him a constant companion in your life.
When you wake up tell him Good Morning, when you eat thank him for the food, when you get cut, tell him how you should have been paying attention and how much it hurts (whatever the situation).
God is always there, through good and bad, he has a path for you. You may not know what lies in store for you but keep faith in God, for he is your constant companion, You need to make sure you make him your constant companion also.
WE ALL slip in sin that is just our nature as humans, it is not an excuse or a reason to keep sinning, it just is.
The Sun rises we sin, it rains we sin, the wind blows we sin. Keep faith in God and ask for genuine forgiveness of your sins.
Jesus paid the price for all of us, lets take advantage of that "government cheese".
Do not feel ashamed to be his servant; do not be ashamed that you do not live up to the role of Jesus. NO ONE alive will live up to the role of Jesus even the most Holy Humans in our eyes fall short of expatiations.
Mother Theresa, she was a Great and beautiful example; but she fell short, just as all of us will.
God is there for you everyday, you just need to remember he is there, and talk to him about everything. He likes that. Be his constant companion, and you will realize that he is already your constant companion.
When we feel like he has abandoned us, it is because we have not been talking to him like we should.
If you sit in a room with someone and ignore what they are saying to you and you do not answer back or initiate conversation, than you may as well be alone in the room for it seems like you already are. BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Keep the faith and I will pray again for you. God has a plan, just hop on his wagon, and see where it takes you. There is no GPS here, just faith he will take you to his home through a roundabout way. Good and bad, he doesn't always take us through the good parts of town.
Peace
Jim
EDIT:
I see this is your first post. Welcome to the board.
Definition of a Veteran. A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including his life." That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.
Re: LOST again!??!???? < Strong doubting of my Salvation!
Arthur,
Amen to what JCSX2 shared with you!
I was in your situation for years, expressing the same doubt and fears and frustrations. I went through it all, the guilt from sin that kept me from God and feeling that I was not worthy of Him because I kept falling into the same sin. I even came to doubting His existence. You are not alone in this. I have just recently found my Faith again, and it is stronger than ever.
Please take JCSWX2's advise and talk to God constantly. Fill your spare time with reading and studying His word. This site alone provides some the most incredible articles concerning God and His creations. The more I read, studied and prayed, the stronger my Faith in God became and I found myself wanting to please Him and to learn more. You will fall from time to time, we all do. Just know that through Jesus Christ, God is waiting to forgive you and get you back on your feet again.
I relate it to my own children as I watch them grow and stumble in their mistakes. As their father, I am here to forgive them, teach them, show them incredible love and get them on the right path again. This is my duty as their father. How much more is God willing to do this for you when you stumble and make mistakes as you grow with Him. How much more does God love you. We are all like children in His eyes.
I will pray for you Arthur.
Amen to what JCSX2 shared with you!
I was in your situation for years, expressing the same doubt and fears and frustrations. I went through it all, the guilt from sin that kept me from God and feeling that I was not worthy of Him because I kept falling into the same sin. I even came to doubting His existence. You are not alone in this. I have just recently found my Faith again, and it is stronger than ever.
Please take JCSWX2's advise and talk to God constantly. Fill your spare time with reading and studying His word. This site alone provides some the most incredible articles concerning God and His creations. The more I read, studied and prayed, the stronger my Faith in God became and I found myself wanting to please Him and to learn more. You will fall from time to time, we all do. Just know that through Jesus Christ, God is waiting to forgive you and get you back on your feet again.
I relate it to my own children as I watch them grow and stumble in their mistakes. As their father, I am here to forgive them, teach them, show them incredible love and get them on the right path again. This is my duty as their father. How much more is God willing to do this for you when you stumble and make mistakes as you grow with Him. How much more does God love you. We are all like children in His eyes.
I will pray for you Arthur.
Last edited by phiver4 on Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
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jenna
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Re: LOST again!??!???? < Strong doubting of my Salvation!
very nice post. Just keep believing.some things are better left unsaid, which i generally realize after i have said them
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Arthur_777
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Re: LOST again!??!???? < Strong doubting of my Salvation!
To you wonderful gentlemen for writing me, THANK YOU so much!
I got to pick up a book by Hannah Whitall Smith TITLE: The Christians Secret of A Happy Life ... go to your neighborhood Christian book store... we have a Mardell's here.... I believe that is how you spell the stores name... Mardell's < ANYWAY.... its was great... the BOOK was on sale... my mom LOVED my book and she wanted to get a copy... so we went to Mardell's to see if they had it..... it was in the reduced section.... the sales lady told me that she got cleaned out of the book.... but was able to fine me 2 more copies in another reduced section.... its amazing.... I encourage you guys to go get a copy.... it HELPED out a LOT!!!!!!!
Thank you to you guys anyway.... < I am still going to go ahead and get counseling... I want to to concrete this thing.... and to be honest.... I need to talk to HIM more.... I have talked to HIM.... but MORE is what I need to do! < I used to all the time it seemed.... < I need to get back to that......
Anyway, back to the book!!! < It was first published in 1870 < How you know you got the right book... go to the contents page and you will see 3 parts: Part 1: The Life ... Part 2: The Difficulties ... Part 3: Results
I saturated 3 parts in the Part 2 section.... Consecration, Faith, and Doubts! < I will read the WHOLE thing.... but I wanted some serious HELP... so I immediately went to THOSE 3 parts in that section....
You GUYS just would have to READ those 3 parts and well.... you can ONLY imagine.... what it did for me.... and well.... I hope you guys... since you have gotten past it.... I hope you guys STILL get a blessing out of it.....
ONE part in the doubting section of this chapter, that comes to my mind is that its REALLY a temptation... that you just have to tell NO.... and say " I am NOT " in place of " I do not " < You will KNOW what I mean!?!
I also noticed.... in my reading of what I read SO far.... Feelings.... she brings up Feelings < We all know that Feelings LIE... and it is a Great tool of the Devil.... especially when I know NOW... that when we have lived in Sin after we get saved.... the devil < Mr. Smut face.... is in more handle of your emotions.... then the Holy Spirit can be.... < sorta like the Black dog and White dog analogy.... if you feed the Black dog... he will conquer the White dog.... but, if you feed the White dog.... he will conquer the Black dog....
Fact first... Faith second..... Feelings last of all < that is GODS order.... we as human-beings want to do it in Reverse.... that is NOT how GOD works.... besides... HE is a Wise GOD.... OUR LOVING LORD and SAVIOUR JESUS knows that we will get a more sense of worth when we simply take HIS fact from HIS word ... then just Believe ( Faith ) < they both mean the same! Just Reckon the Fact to be SO.... just Believe it.... say it over and over if you have to.... you SHOW you Believe.... cuz WHY would you say it if you DID not Believe it.... so say it over and over the book EXCLAMES.... from what I gather from the book... by saying things over and over... you are taking a Blind step of Faith.... she even says to say it.... even if you believe it to not be true.... < I got what she was doing... if you say it over and over.... its like feeding that WHITE DOG..... < get the picture
WOW..... pumping isn't it!?!
Anyway, I am going to try and foward this same message to both of you fellas.... thank you very much again...and try and go snag yourself a copy... my mom and I got 2... they were ONLY 3 dollars each!
AMAZING!!!
Continue to Pray.... while I keep fighting ... < there is still some fighting left.... But I am getting it....
Some insight to what I am fighting... I start to get a LITTLE and I mean a LITTLE not a LOT... but LITTLE... upset or angry when I hear someones testimony and OR see someone getting Baptized < Only the Gospel Saves! )
And I KNOW I do NOT want to think or " Feel " that way... I want to be Happy.... I want to get MY assurance... so I can get back to Sharing the Gospel with people again... < of course without Fear < never feared before... but, never really had it in me as far as giving it .... WELL.... giving the Gospel WELL......
Now I am Confident... once I get over myself < basically.... I will give it WAY better than I did before!
Again, thank you Gentlemen!
In Christ Forever,
Richie
I got to pick up a book by Hannah Whitall Smith TITLE: The Christians Secret of A Happy Life ... go to your neighborhood Christian book store... we have a Mardell's here.... I believe that is how you spell the stores name... Mardell's < ANYWAY.... its was great... the BOOK was on sale... my mom LOVED my book and she wanted to get a copy... so we went to Mardell's to see if they had it..... it was in the reduced section.... the sales lady told me that she got cleaned out of the book.... but was able to fine me 2 more copies in another reduced section.... its amazing.... I encourage you guys to go get a copy.... it HELPED out a LOT!!!!!!!
Thank you to you guys anyway.... < I am still going to go ahead and get counseling... I want to to concrete this thing.... and to be honest.... I need to talk to HIM more.... I have talked to HIM.... but MORE is what I need to do! < I used to all the time it seemed.... < I need to get back to that......
Anyway, back to the book!!! < It was first published in 1870 < How you know you got the right book... go to the contents page and you will see 3 parts: Part 1: The Life ... Part 2: The Difficulties ... Part 3: Results
I saturated 3 parts in the Part 2 section.... Consecration, Faith, and Doubts! < I will read the WHOLE thing.... but I wanted some serious HELP... so I immediately went to THOSE 3 parts in that section....
You GUYS just would have to READ those 3 parts and well.... you can ONLY imagine.... what it did for me.... and well.... I hope you guys... since you have gotten past it.... I hope you guys STILL get a blessing out of it.....
ONE part in the doubting section of this chapter, that comes to my mind is that its REALLY a temptation... that you just have to tell NO.... and say " I am NOT " in place of " I do not " < You will KNOW what I mean!?!
I also noticed.... in my reading of what I read SO far.... Feelings.... she brings up Feelings < We all know that Feelings LIE... and it is a Great tool of the Devil.... especially when I know NOW... that when we have lived in Sin after we get saved.... the devil < Mr. Smut face.... is in more handle of your emotions.... then the Holy Spirit can be.... < sorta like the Black dog and White dog analogy.... if you feed the Black dog... he will conquer the White dog.... but, if you feed the White dog.... he will conquer the Black dog....
Fact first... Faith second..... Feelings last of all < that is GODS order.... we as human-beings want to do it in Reverse.... that is NOT how GOD works.... besides... HE is a Wise GOD.... OUR LOVING LORD and SAVIOUR JESUS knows that we will get a more sense of worth when we simply take HIS fact from HIS word ... then just Believe ( Faith ) < they both mean the same! Just Reckon the Fact to be SO.... just Believe it.... say it over and over if you have to.... you SHOW you Believe.... cuz WHY would you say it if you DID not Believe it.... so say it over and over the book EXCLAMES.... from what I gather from the book... by saying things over and over... you are taking a Blind step of Faith.... she even says to say it.... even if you believe it to not be true.... < I got what she was doing... if you say it over and over.... its like feeding that WHITE DOG..... < get the picture
WOW..... pumping isn't it!?!
Anyway, I am going to try and foward this same message to both of you fellas.... thank you very much again...and try and go snag yourself a copy... my mom and I got 2... they were ONLY 3 dollars each!
AMAZING!!!
Continue to Pray.... while I keep fighting ... < there is still some fighting left.... But I am getting it....
Some insight to what I am fighting... I start to get a LITTLE and I mean a LITTLE not a LOT... but LITTLE... upset or angry when I hear someones testimony and OR see someone getting Baptized < Only the Gospel Saves! )
And I KNOW I do NOT want to think or " Feel " that way... I want to be Happy.... I want to get MY assurance... so I can get back to Sharing the Gospel with people again... < of course without Fear < never feared before... but, never really had it in me as far as giving it .... WELL.... giving the Gospel WELL......
Now I am Confident... once I get over myself < basically.... I will give it WAY better than I did before!
Again, thank you Gentlemen!
In Christ Forever,
Richie