For the Teachers

Got some good and clean jokes to share? Everyone likes a laugh.
Post Reply
User avatar
Canuckster1127
Old School
Posts: 5310
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 11:31 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Theistic Evolution
Location: Ottawa, ON Canada

For the Teachers

Post by Canuckster1127 »

I took this from another board I post on for Amazon Reviewers ...... Thought our teachers here might appreciate it.

SCHOOL 1977 vs. SCHOOL 2007

Scenario: Jack goes duck hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1977- Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotg un, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007- School goes into look-down, the Feds and ATF are called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1977- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007- Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007- Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra district funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1977- Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007- Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1977- Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007- Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.
1977- Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007- Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Lawyers file class action lawsuit against the public school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover 4th of July firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1977- Ants die.
2007- FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. They investigate his parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1977- Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007- Mary is accuse d of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
Dogmatism is the comfortable intellectual framework of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is more decadent than the worst sexual sin. ~ Dan Allender
User avatar
Furstentum Liechtenstein
Ultimate Member
Posts: 3295
Joined: Mon May 08, 2006 6:55 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: It's Complicated
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Lower Canuckistan

Re: For the Teachers

Post by Furstentum Liechtenstein »

Too true, unfortunately.
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom

+ + +

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.

+ + +
User avatar
Silvertusk
Board Moderator
Posts: 1948
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 5:38 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Undecided
Location: United Kingdom

Re: For the Teachers

Post by Silvertusk »

As a teacher - reading that is terrifying.
FFC
Prestigious Senior Member
Posts: 1683
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 7:11 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Young-Earth Creationist
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

Re: For the Teachers

Post by FFC »

Extremes in anything can be dangerous.
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible." - Corrie Ten Boom

Act 9:6
And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?
User avatar
zoegirl
Old School
Posts: 3927
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 3:59 pm
Christian: Yes
Sex: Female
Creation Position: Day-Age
Location: east coast

Re: For the Teachers

Post by zoegirl »

the tragedy is to hear of another college shooting and realizing that we are facing another code red drill in my school to practice what happens in this type of situation.
"And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Jesus Christ"
User avatar
Cross.eyed
Valued Member
Posts: 461
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:45 am
Christian: Yes
Sex: Male
Creation Position: Undecided
Location: Kentucky U.S.A.

Re: For the Teachers

Post by Cross.eyed »

Silvertusk wrote:As a teacher - reading that is terrifying.
As someone who jokingly calls himself human - reading that is terrifying.
I am the wretch the song refers to.
Post Reply