WIFE VS. HUSBAND

[Gman]

Enjoy....

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'
The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........'HEBREWS'

The SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman,but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

[zoegirl]

[cslewislover]

Those are really funny, especially the Words and Silent Treatment ones. I knew a pastor that mentioned the word count thing quite a bit, but not in a bad way. But thank goodness, there have been some newer studies about that! I'm not noramally a big talker, but my husband is! Now, my son talks a lot too. Sometimes I here men talk in the park or someplace, and it cracks me up that they're just jabbering away, usually about the same kind of things women talk about. What's sad about the Creation one is that there is some truth to it. I don't agree that women are stupid, but why do they stay with abusive men? I worked at a court house for four years, helping women (mostly) get restraining orders. It was really an amazing, and sometimes very sad (some of the women were later killed) experience.

Edit.
I was talking about these to my husband, and he told me one that a pastor said (I know he didn't mean it literally):

So why did God make women beautiful? Because if He didn't, men would just go fishing.

[For_Narniaaa]

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

OUCH!

Oh, and the "Hebrews" just made my day.

[Harry12345]

Youch! I'm not missing much in later life then!

I like the 'Silent Treatment' one best.