Trying to Be Christian
Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:36 am
I was raised Southern Baptist, and remained so for most of my life. I am hard wired to be christian, its all I ever knew growing up. BUt I began struggling with it after a friend and I had a discussion on the subject.
Do you believe in that stuff Or Are you Just afraid not to? HE asked me... It was a long conversation but parts of it are burned in my memory... after all you've been told since you were a child that you wold burn in hell if you didnt believe what you were told.....so have you ever given it a fair and honest look. He went on to tell me he used to believe in his Religion until he realized he believed in it more because he wanted to, than because it was believeable. That he could never have been convinced to believe in any Religion he is aware of had he been presented with them as an adult. The guy wasn't trying to be rude or condecending it was just a matter of fact level kind of conversation in which we exchanged our viewpoints. IN fact I think he kind of envied me for being able to be a Christian.
Soon after that meeting I began to travel and meet people from different cultures mostly in Asia. I found that I looked at them as different not only because they were physically different but because they were not Christian as I am. I didnt like that, and my knowledge of history and the bible reminded me of how many had suffered unimaginable pain because they were not the right kind of Christian.
The question eats at me till this day, I cant say that I am a christian anymore, I would like to be but , I just cant at this point set aside and just forget the many flaws I see in the theology. A Parable just doesnt do the trick for me, I can't see any Divinity in the Bible, any Truth beyond the obvious, or Revelation that proves that this Religion is the true Path to God. OR that GOD chose this Religion above all the many others which claim to be the Way the ONLY WAY to the Creator.
I enjoy this life, and am thankful for it, If there comes a time when I am laying on my death bed knowing my life is over. I think I will be quite content to know that I have been a good man, a good husband father, that I contributed more than Itook. If ther is darkness after that then thats OK by me, streets of gold never were much of a enticement .. burning in pain forever would be a drag. But If the Bible is the truth, I am destined for that weather I pretend to believe in christianity or not, for he knows us and we cannot fool him.
Certainly many members have struggled with these same thoughts.. how do you overcome them and keep your faith in christianity?
Do you believe in that stuff Or Are you Just afraid not to? HE asked me... It was a long conversation but parts of it are burned in my memory... after all you've been told since you were a child that you wold burn in hell if you didnt believe what you were told.....so have you ever given it a fair and honest look. He went on to tell me he used to believe in his Religion until he realized he believed in it more because he wanted to, than because it was believeable. That he could never have been convinced to believe in any Religion he is aware of had he been presented with them as an adult. The guy wasn't trying to be rude or condecending it was just a matter of fact level kind of conversation in which we exchanged our viewpoints. IN fact I think he kind of envied me for being able to be a Christian.
Soon after that meeting I began to travel and meet people from different cultures mostly in Asia. I found that I looked at them as different not only because they were physically different but because they were not Christian as I am. I didnt like that, and my knowledge of history and the bible reminded me of how many had suffered unimaginable pain because they were not the right kind of Christian.
The question eats at me till this day, I cant say that I am a christian anymore, I would like to be but , I just cant at this point set aside and just forget the many flaws I see in the theology. A Parable just doesnt do the trick for me, I can't see any Divinity in the Bible, any Truth beyond the obvious, or Revelation that proves that this Religion is the true Path to God. OR that GOD chose this Religion above all the many others which claim to be the Way the ONLY WAY to the Creator.
I enjoy this life, and am thankful for it, If there comes a time when I am laying on my death bed knowing my life is over. I think I will be quite content to know that I have been a good man, a good husband father, that I contributed more than Itook. If ther is darkness after that then thats OK by me, streets of gold never were much of a enticement .. burning in pain forever would be a drag. But If the Bible is the truth, I am destined for that weather I pretend to believe in christianity or not, for he knows us and we cannot fool him.
Certainly many members have struggled with these same thoughts.. how do you overcome them and keep your faith in christianity?