Where do I go from here?
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 6:15 pm
A bit of my life story before I get to the question; bear with me.
After reading CS Lewis' book "Mere Christianity", I came to fall in love with Christianity, or at least the idea of it, entirely. It was refreshing. Up till then, all religious teaching I'd received sounded trivialized and dumb down just so I, a kid, could understand it. But with my invigorated enthusiasm came the realization that the weak faith argument (I just believe and that's it) could be used to justify absolutely anything. In short, I found my belief couldn't stand. I got into a few apologetic books. Stuff like Lee Strobel's books and I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist; but ultimately this just led to raising my hopes before they got dashed into the ground. Maybe I'm pessimistic, but it seemed like if there were ever an unanswered Amazon.com book comment from the atheist side, then the Christian faith was intellectually lacking. I began to wonder if atheists were unanswerable, and the whole thing just spiraled down from there. At this point I'm afraid to even seek at all, as I'm not sure if I'm emotionally stable enough to get my hopes up for something absolutely good and fulfilling, only to have someone else argue that it doesn't exist or couldn't exist.
In short, I guess I don't know how to "clinch" Christianity. When can I really believe? At this point I don't really feel justified in calling myself a Christian. Not that Christians don't have doubts or that they don't like to research apologetics every now and then, but that Christians at least know what they're doing and where they're going. I'm more agnostic about it. All I really know for sure is that a life without what Christianity promises is an empty one, at best. I've received some answers as to how to "end the matter", but I just don't know what to do.
For instance, William Lane Craig said in his Q&A section on his website that if one wishes to have firmer ground than the ever-shifting tides of evidence, that they could directly experience God and have it be part of their "basic belief". Needless to say this hasn't happened, and even if it did I don't know what I'd say to objectors. How could I prove it wasn't hallucination? Or that I'm going off of mere emotions and not "solid evidence"?
So really I'm in a rut and don't know what to do. How can I really find God? Up till now it seems like I can't, and there are tons of humanists/materialists/determinists/atheists/subjectivists/whatever to affirm just that.
After reading CS Lewis' book "Mere Christianity", I came to fall in love with Christianity, or at least the idea of it, entirely. It was refreshing. Up till then, all religious teaching I'd received sounded trivialized and dumb down just so I, a kid, could understand it. But with my invigorated enthusiasm came the realization that the weak faith argument (I just believe and that's it) could be used to justify absolutely anything. In short, I found my belief couldn't stand. I got into a few apologetic books. Stuff like Lee Strobel's books and I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist; but ultimately this just led to raising my hopes before they got dashed into the ground. Maybe I'm pessimistic, but it seemed like if there were ever an unanswered Amazon.com book comment from the atheist side, then the Christian faith was intellectually lacking. I began to wonder if atheists were unanswerable, and the whole thing just spiraled down from there. At this point I'm afraid to even seek at all, as I'm not sure if I'm emotionally stable enough to get my hopes up for something absolutely good and fulfilling, only to have someone else argue that it doesn't exist or couldn't exist.
In short, I guess I don't know how to "clinch" Christianity. When can I really believe? At this point I don't really feel justified in calling myself a Christian. Not that Christians don't have doubts or that they don't like to research apologetics every now and then, but that Christians at least know what they're doing and where they're going. I'm more agnostic about it. All I really know for sure is that a life without what Christianity promises is an empty one, at best. I've received some answers as to how to "end the matter", but I just don't know what to do.
For instance, William Lane Craig said in his Q&A section on his website that if one wishes to have firmer ground than the ever-shifting tides of evidence, that they could directly experience God and have it be part of their "basic belief". Needless to say this hasn't happened, and even if it did I don't know what I'd say to objectors. How could I prove it wasn't hallucination? Or that I'm going off of mere emotions and not "solid evidence"?
So really I'm in a rut and don't know what to do. How can I really find God? Up till now it seems like I can't, and there are tons of humanists/materialists/determinists/atheists/subjectivists/whatever to affirm just that.