Robots debate intelligent design
Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:59 pm
I wrote this short story a couple days ago. It's kind of lame, but does a decent-ish job at putting things into perspective, if you ask me.
-------
Distantly into the future, about a thousand years from now, millions of sentient robots exist isolated from their manufacturer on distant worlds. Unable and unwilling to understand that they are synthetic, built automata, their scientific community constantly debates the existence of a manufacturer.
“Gee, that's real dumb.” A tall gunmetal-coloured machine said to another vaguely more humanoid robot. “Now you're going to say some Flying-9-Volt-Battery-Monster was like 'OKAY GAIZ IM BOARD IMMA GON MAEK ROBOTZ NOW LOLOL'. Everyone knows that machines originate from chance occurrences of sulphuric acids forming complex mechanical structures.”
A more intelligent, humanoid machine responded; “The idea of sulphuric acids creating a primitive machine is impossible. They tried that before, and it didn't work.”
“What do you mean?!” retorted a sharp looking tripedial bot “All the evidence says we evolved from circuit boards. To say we're descended from manufactured machines is absurd! There is NO manufacturer. Do you have even the slightest bit of evidence to support your blind claim?”
The dignified, humanoid machine responded “Did you ever notice those serial numbers stamped onto your components that say 'Made in Taiwan' on them? Did you ever notice how our systems are incompatible with primitive eight-bit systems?”
“So you admit it.” The biggest machine responded.
“What?”
“You admitted primitive electronics are just that; are primitive ancestors. I fail to see why you don't believe in the evolution of machines.”
“Answer my question, then we can argue tenuously. Why do we have such a design as if we were built by something more intelligent?”
“We don't. You're just referring to random scratches we have on us that some primitives attributed to having meaning. If we really were all 'built', then why are all our “serial numbers” respond to places in your mythology like 'Japan' and 'Canada' and never places like 'U.S.A.'? It would make sense that we would be built from those areas too if you're right. If we were really only built for purposes, then that means we aren't champions of natural selection and evolution.”
“It's obvious that there was little demand for machines there, and thus no factories in said places. I have yet to see any 'proof' of machines 'evolving' besides minor adaptations. Even then, it can only go so far and is obviously pre-programmed into their components. If you would choose for yourself, rather than going with the masses, you'd understand.”
“The masses are what constitute reality.” The tall, dark machine replied boldly “There is no truth other than what we make for ourselves. Truth is only a perception of random, unplanned impulses.”
“Is that why you have such blind faith that we came from a combination of iron and acid? Because you believe there's no reality and you can prove anything as your opinion is 'there is nothing'?” The humanoid inquired.
“Well, the concept of reality can't be proven. I can pick up a rock and say 'look a rock' and even then there's no proof that it's real, because we can't define real, so ha. I just disproved everything you believed right there.” The towering machine walked off, self-assured followed by its three-legged pet.
The humanoid automaton stared off with an 'I'm so bored and disappointed I could kill him' expression.
“I'm surrounded by idiots.”
-------
I thought it was kind of funny. :\
-Ngakunui
-------
Distantly into the future, about a thousand years from now, millions of sentient robots exist isolated from their manufacturer on distant worlds. Unable and unwilling to understand that they are synthetic, built automata, their scientific community constantly debates the existence of a manufacturer.
“Gee, that's real dumb.” A tall gunmetal-coloured machine said to another vaguely more humanoid robot. “Now you're going to say some Flying-9-Volt-Battery-Monster was like 'OKAY GAIZ IM BOARD IMMA GON MAEK ROBOTZ NOW LOLOL'. Everyone knows that machines originate from chance occurrences of sulphuric acids forming complex mechanical structures.”
A more intelligent, humanoid machine responded; “The idea of sulphuric acids creating a primitive machine is impossible. They tried that before, and it didn't work.”
“What do you mean?!” retorted a sharp looking tripedial bot “All the evidence says we evolved from circuit boards. To say we're descended from manufactured machines is absurd! There is NO manufacturer. Do you have even the slightest bit of evidence to support your blind claim?”
The dignified, humanoid machine responded “Did you ever notice those serial numbers stamped onto your components that say 'Made in Taiwan' on them? Did you ever notice how our systems are incompatible with primitive eight-bit systems?”
“So you admit it.” The biggest machine responded.
“What?”
“You admitted primitive electronics are just that; are primitive ancestors. I fail to see why you don't believe in the evolution of machines.”
“Answer my question, then we can argue tenuously. Why do we have such a design as if we were built by something more intelligent?”
“We don't. You're just referring to random scratches we have on us that some primitives attributed to having meaning. If we really were all 'built', then why are all our “serial numbers” respond to places in your mythology like 'Japan' and 'Canada' and never places like 'U.S.A.'? It would make sense that we would be built from those areas too if you're right. If we were really only built for purposes, then that means we aren't champions of natural selection and evolution.”
“It's obvious that there was little demand for machines there, and thus no factories in said places. I have yet to see any 'proof' of machines 'evolving' besides minor adaptations. Even then, it can only go so far and is obviously pre-programmed into their components. If you would choose for yourself, rather than going with the masses, you'd understand.”
“The masses are what constitute reality.” The tall, dark machine replied boldly “There is no truth other than what we make for ourselves. Truth is only a perception of random, unplanned impulses.”
“Is that why you have such blind faith that we came from a combination of iron and acid? Because you believe there's no reality and you can prove anything as your opinion is 'there is nothing'?” The humanoid inquired.
“Well, the concept of reality can't be proven. I can pick up a rock and say 'look a rock' and even then there's no proof that it's real, because we can't define real, so ha. I just disproved everything you believed right there.” The towering machine walked off, self-assured followed by its three-legged pet.
The humanoid automaton stared off with an 'I'm so bored and disappointed I could kill him' expression.
“I'm surrounded by idiots.”
-------
I thought it was kind of funny. :\
-Ngakunui