Needing Spiritual Help

[WConn]

Hello everyone, I am new to this and right now have had many things pile up on me at once. Having read some of the other prayer requests, it appears that my situation pales in comparison.

I was very much in love with someone, we seemed to get along great. She said she had a list of 25 things she was looking for in a guy and I nailed 24 of them. The one I didn't
was being a committed Christian. I did attend her church with her every Sunday morning, I listened and was respectful. I was learning. She really touched my heart and I was beginning to feel that I was changing and becoming more receptive to her religious views. These things take time.

Well to make a long story short, she decided that she couldn't sustain this relationship long term. It came as a total shock to me, like getting hit in the head by a truck. That was a couple of months ago, the way she broke it off was really painful, but I guess I understand. She had a few health problems crop up, a doctor changed her hormonal medication which I know can change the way a woman thinks and feels, she was put on a drug for depression and she changed drastically. Not much I can do about that.

I actually miss attending church with her, I find it difficult to attend one alone but I guess right now I am in need of some prayer myself. Again I find reading the bible to be a very disturbing thing to do. I do believe in God, I guess I have trouble believing in man/mankind. I am in a kind of funk right now, not much energy, lots of pressure from life and job and feeling kind of alone. I guess I need to learn how to pray myself but would appreciate any prayer help from those of you who read this.

Thank you,

W

[ageofknowledge]

Well that last point was a big one with her. If she is an authentic Christian woman, then she won't wish to be unequally yoked with a non-Christian even if he does go to church with her.

I would encourage you to continue going to church and to enter into a real salvation relationship with God through Jesus Christ. You can be working on bettering yourself and building a successful career while you do this.

Now as for your feelings. Women are often used like a drug by men who don't realize they can become somewhat addicted to the powerful chemicals that are released as a result of being involved with the opposite sex (e.g. I'm not talking about a sinful relationship here either). You're just detoxing.

Also, watch out for women who are perfectionists and keep long lists. They are looking for a perfect man and he doesn't exist. As a result, these women have a higher than average rate of divorce in my opinion and push on from relationship to relationship looking for Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. Neither does Miss Perfect. They aren't Miss Perfect themselves but this seems to make no difference in their thinking. Hope this helps. Peace.

[WConn]

Thank your lucky stars and push on. You got off easy. I've seen what happens to divorced Christian men legally removed from homes they have to continue paying the mortgage on afterwards as the ex-wife uses them as a type of human wallet while her new boyfriend gains more influence over his kids than he can while driving around her car which the divorced Christian man still makes the payments on booming the stereo. His kids he only sees at the most two weekends a month. I mean can you imagine watching some new boyfriend driving around the car you make payments on, sleeping in your bed, having your kids call him dad? I really can't conceive it personally but I've seen it happen many times to what were Christian marriages.

The divorce rate might only be approaching 50% in this country overall but it's higher among young adults than older ones and that's you friend. I would think long and hard before worrying about any serious relationship commitments with a member of the opposite sex. You can be working on bettering yourself and building a successful career. Women are often used like a drug by men who don't realize they can become somewhat addicted to the powerful chemicals that are released as a result of being involved with the opposite sex (e.g. I'm not talking about a sinful relationship here either). You're just detoxing.

My advice would be to stop being a softy pouring yourself into them emotionally and instead embrace a tough quiet manhood concentrating on bettering yourself and your life. Believe it or not, they'll respect you more. They always say they want Mr. Sensitive but 9 out 10 times they go for that other guy. Hope this helps. Peace.

Thanks for your advice. I do believe in prenups these days. My ex girlfriend had one with a previous husband, a good idea if you ask me. She had assets, he did not. I am confident that my assets exceeded hers at this point, perhaps you are right, I am lucky. Can't imagine going thru a divorce with her considering how hard just the breakup of boyfriend/girlfriend was.

W

[WConn]

Well that last point was a big one with her. If she is an authentic Christian woman, then she won't wish to be unequally yoked with a non-Christian even if he does go to church with her.

I would encourage you to continue going to church and to enter into a real salvation relationship with God through Jesus Christ. You can be working on bettering yourself and building a successful career while you do this.

Now as for your feelings. Women are often used like a drug by men who don't realize they can become somewhat addicted to the powerful chemicals that are released as a result of being involved with the opposite sex (e.g. I'm not talking about a sinful relationship here either). You're just detoxing.

Also, watch out for women who are perfectionists and keep long lists. They are looking for a perfect man and he doesn't exist. As a result, these women have a higher than average rate of divorce in my opinion and push on from relationship to relationship looking for Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. Neither does Miss Perfect. They aren't Miss Perfect themselves but this seems to make no difference in their thinking. Hope this helps. Peace.

Your last paragraph nailed that one to a tee.

W

[ageofknowledge]

Well that last point was a big one with her. If she is an authentic Christian woman, then she won't wish to be unequally yoked with a non-Christian even if he does go to church with her.

I would encourage you to continue going to church and to enter into a real salvation relationship with God through Jesus Christ. You can be working on bettering yourself and building a successful career while you do this.

Now as for your feelings. Women are often used like a drug by men who don't realize they can become somewhat addicted to the powerful chemicals that are released as a result of being involved with the opposite sex (e.g. I'm not talking about a sinful relationship here either). You're just detoxing.

Also, watch out for women who are perfectionists and keep long lists. They are looking for a perfect man and he doesn't exist. As a result, these women have a higher than average rate of divorce in my opinion and push on from relationship to relationship looking for Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. Neither does Miss Perfect. They aren't Miss Perfect themselves but this seems to make no difference in their thinking. Hope this helps. Peace.

Your last paragraph nailed that one to a tee.

W

TY. P.S. Get in touch, if you aren't already, with that strong manhood the modern liberal public education system tried to brainwash out of us and stop caring so much about every little thing they think. It's simply not important. Love them but run the show not the other way around. They'll respect you for it. They all say they want Mr. Sensitive but most won't choose him.

[WConn]

TY. P.S. Get in touch, if you aren't already, with that strong manhood the modern liberal public education system tried to brainwash out of us and stop caring so much about every little thing they think. It's simply not important. Love them but run the show not the other way around. They'll respect you for it. They all say they want Mr. Sensitive but most won't choose him.[/quote]

The modern liberal public education system has had no effect on me at all, I graduated high school in 1968, things were different then. I have always tried to be man in the relationship while at the same time being sensitive to the needs of the lady in my life. It does appear to me that women are looking for things that don't exist. I am tired of hearing about how wonderful someone's ex hubby or boyfriend was, "when they weren't drunk and or beating them." Sounds like you are speaking from experience yourself?

W

[zoegirl]

Well that last point was a big one with her. If she is an authentic Christian woman, then she won't wish to be unequally yoked with a non-Christian even if he does go to church with her.

I would encourage you to continue going to church and to enter into a real salvation relationship with God through Jesus Christ. You can be working on bettering yourself and building a successful career while you do this.

Now as for your feelings. Women are often used like a drug by men who don't realize they can become somewhat addicted to the powerful chemicals that are released as a result of being involved with the opposite sex (e.g. I'm not talking about a sinful relationship here either). You're just detoxing.

Also, watch out for women who are perfectionists and keep long lists. They are looking for a perfect man and he doesn't exist. As a result, these women have a higher than average rate of divorce in my opinion and push on from relationship to relationship looking for Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. Neither does Miss Perfect. They aren't Miss Perfect themselves but this seems to make no difference in their thinking. Hope this helps. Peace.

Your last paragraph nailed that one to a tee.

W

TY. P.S. Get in touch, if you aren't already, with that strong manhood the modern liberal public education system tried to brainwash out of us and stop caring so much about every little thing they think. It's simply not important. Love them but run the show not the other way around. They'll respect you for it. They all say they want Mr. Sensitive but most won't choose him.

Age,

Respectfully

Do not speak for the women here...Strength and sensitivity are NOT mutally exclusive, nor hould they be. Christ certainly showed both sides. "Runnig the show?"...oy...

Will pray for you W...

[cslewislover]

Do not speak for the women here...Strength and sensitivity are NOT mutually exclusive, nor should they be. Christ certainly showed both sides. "Running the show?"...oy...

Will pray for you W...

Yes, and yes, Christ did.

[WConn]

Thank you zoegirl and cslewislover. I agree, strength and sensitivity are not mutually exclusive. I try to display both in a relationship. Unfortunately sometimes we meet people who are not right for us. I am sad that my christian (former) girl friend seems to have some problems beyond what appear on the surface. There is nothing I can do except move on which is what I am doing. Seems Age is speaking from experience. I seem to hear some anger in his posts, hope he can get over and thru it.

Thank you for your prayers, I can use all I can get.

W

[cslewislover]

Prayers and

[ageofknowledge]

I can speak from my experience and share my opinions. I never said having a measure of sensitivity was mutually exclusive from being a man who takes on the leadership role in their relationships with women. You said I said that. I never did. What I said was to love women but be a man and take the leadership role with them. I also attempted to point out to this man that the guy who acts like a chick with women or a beta male who lets himself get used by them or puts himself into a submissive role with them isn't the one I've observed them choosing. They say things like "you'll find the right person someday" and then choose the alpha male that turns them on and generates sparks. And no that's not mr. sensitivity who spends all his time devaluing his position before them as if he has no life of his own. Most women want a strong alpha male as a rule. In fact, most women want the leader of the pack if they can get him. That's what I've observed. There is no anger. There is no bitterness. There is no relational pain with the opposite sex. I have my opinion based on my observations and experience and every right to express it even if you disagree. I never spoke for you. I spoke my mind.

[WConn]

I can speak from my experience and share my opinions. I never said having a measure of sensitivity was mutually exclusive from being a man who takes on the leadership role in their relationships with women. You said I said that. I never did. What I said was to love women but be a man and take the leadership role with them. I also attempted to point out to this man that the guy who acts like a chick with women or a beta male who lets himself get used by them or puts himself into a submissive role with them isn't the one I've observed them choosing. They say things like "you'll find the right person someday" and then choose the alpha male that turns them on and generates sparks. And no that's not mr. sensitivity who spends all his time devaluing his position before them as if he has no life of his own. Most women want a strong alpha male as a rule. In fact, most women want the leader of the pack if they can get him. That's what I've observed. There is no anger. There is no bitterness. There is no relational pain with the opposite sex. I have my opinion based on my observations and experience and every right to express it even if you disagree. I never spoke for you. I spoke my mind.

Age,

You seem to be suggesting that I might be a wimp? Well, for the record, I am a Vietnam Vet with 1000 hours of combat flying time under my belt. I am a patch holder in a motorcycle club, I am licensed to carry a weapon and I don't mind throwing a few fists if the situation warrants it. I don't make these an upfront issue in my life with women, but the evidence is clearly there. At the same time I try to show some sensitivity. When we are on the bike, I am in charge as I am in many other areas of my life. Life with others is a compromise though. Yes women say they want the sensitive type and those who have experienced the true bad boy quickly understand that he is not what they are looking for either. It has always amazed me though how some continue to go to the bad boy time and time again, only to experience the negative aspects of someone like that. I consider myself a true compromise but I have gotten over being the hard assed type.

You are entitled to your opinion as am I and the women on this board.

W

[zoegirl]

They all say they want Mr. Sensitive but most won't choose him.

I'd say that's speaking for women....

[zoegirl]

I can speak from my experience and share my opinions. I never said having a measure of sensitivity was mutually exclusive from being a man who takes on the leadership role in their relationships with women. You said I said that. I never did. What I said was to love women but be a man and take the leadership role with them. I also attempted to point out to this man that the guy who acts like a chick with women or a beta male who lets himself get used by them or puts himself into a submissive role with them isn't the one I've observed them choosing. They say things like "you'll find the right person someday" and then choose the alpha male that turns them on and generates sparks. And no that's not mr. sensitivity who spends all his time devaluing his position before them as if he has no life of his own. Most women want a strong alpha male as a rule. In fact, most women want the leader of the pack if they can get him. That's what I've observed. There is no anger. There is no bitterness. There is no relational pain with the opposite sex. I have my opinion based on my observations and experience and every right to express it even if you disagree. I never spoke for you. I spoke my mind.

Age,

You seem to be suggesting that I might be a wimp? Well, for the record, I am a Vietnam Vet with 1000 hours of combat flying time under my belt. I am a patch holder in a motorcycle club, I am licensed to carry a weapon and I don't mind throwing a few fists if the situation warrants it. I don't make these an upfront issue in my life with women, but the evidence is clearly there. At the same time I try to show some sensitivity. When we are on the bike, I am in charge as I am in many other areas of my life. Life with others is a compromise though. Yes women say they want the sensitive type and those who have experienced the true bad boy quickly understand that he is not what they are looking for either. It has always amazed me though how some continue to go to the bad boy time and time again, only to experience the negative aspects of someone like that. I consider myself a true compromise but I have gotten over being the hard assed type.

You are entitled to your opinion as am I and the women on this board.

W

W,

I am sorry for the pain of the loss of the relationship. Been there, done that. It sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulder...(by the way, thanks for serving the country) and a good handle on the the leadership/compromise area. It sounds as though you not being a committed Christian was the main issue.

A for not knowing how to pray....there is no magic formula....just keep reading the scripture and talking to GOd.

[WConn]

[quote="ageofknowledge"

W

W,

I am sorry for the pain of the loss of the relationship. Been there, done that. It sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulder...(by the way, thanks for serving the country) and a good handle on the the leadership/compromise area. It sounds as though you not being a committed Christian was the main issue.

A for not knowing how to pray....there is no magic formula....just keep reading the scripture and talking to GOd.

zoegirl. I think the lack of being a committed Christian was an excuse on her part. I have seen a side of her since that I didn't see during our relationship, perhaps I am better off, who knows. I only hope that she finds happiness in her life and that I do the same. Sometimes people say they are things which they ultimately end up not being. I am me, I have no false pretenses about being a bad boy or a good guy or anything else. I am me, no one else and I tell people to take me as I am, I can't be what I am not.

Thanks,

W