Please hold while we redirect your call!
Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 4:36 pm
''Welcome to Saint Jude's Psychiatric Hospital. Your call is important to us! Please choose one of the following options:
-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-If you are co-dependent, ask your enabler to press 2.
-If you have Multiple Personality Disorder, press 3,4,5 and 6.
-If you are paranoid, we know who you are. Stay on line while we trace your call.
-If you have hallucinations, press 7 to transfer your call to the orbiting Mother Ship.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice will tell you which button to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, you'll be miserable whichever button you press.
-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.
-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.
-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.
-If you have poor self-esteem, hang up now. All of our operators have better things to do than waste their time on you.
-If you are blonde, DO NOT TOUCH A THING or you'll screw everything up! Hang up now! HANG UP NOW!''
-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-If you are co-dependent, ask your enabler to press 2.
-If you have Multiple Personality Disorder, press 3,4,5 and 6.
-If you are paranoid, we know who you are. Stay on line while we trace your call.
-If you have hallucinations, press 7 to transfer your call to the orbiting Mother Ship.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice will tell you which button to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, you'll be miserable whichever button you press.
-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.
-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.
-If you have short-term amnesia, press 9.
-If you have poor self-esteem, hang up now. All of our operators have better things to do than waste their time on you.
-If you are blonde, DO NOT TOUCH A THING or you'll screw everything up! Hang up now! HANG UP NOW!''
