Hi derrick09!!!
You are really after a closer relationship with God, to the point were there can be no (zero) doubt .…Awesome!!! If there is more then you want it…Amen! I was that way as well. I am certain that if you keep your attitude then you will get every bit of what God has for you.
Yes, Jesus is God in man form..
Jesus most definitely (when we see Him) does not want anyone (man or woman) having the type of human relationship with Him that involves hugging, kissing and a passionate need to unite in order to fulfill a desire to incorporate the essence of the one we love into our own essence (< This uses God‘s definition of the right reasons and right way to take a wife or husband and deals with only our feelings, not all details concerning why we marry).
I am sure that Jesus would not mind hugs given with the type of affection we would give to parents, siblings and friends combined with the type of love that we have for the one and only God He is. And that brings me to how we love God. We love God as a human (man or woman) should love a God, with everything in us, with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30), that is scripture.
God consist of the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost. Jesus has a human male body and He is God but God also dwells outside of Jesus’ body.
The Holy Ghost inhabits your body, this happened when you accepted Jesus as your God. The Holy ghost is what embraces you, ministers to you and wraps you in a type of love that motivates you to return some measure of that same love. It is your comforter and intercedes on your behalf, It teaches you and is your link to God. All these things are of a spiritual nature and are not to be seen as fleshly things (not saying that you have committed some kind of sin at all). The affections, actions and role of the Holy Ghost (concerning it’s relationship with us) is similar to the purpose, actions and role of a wife or husband. What people really show the intimate type of love to (crying, I love you Jesus and other forms of worship) is the Holy Ghost, who is not a human man or woman. God said that we are to accept Jesus as God, He is the Human God and our representative and no human is saved without Him saying so. All matters concerning humans (including filling us with the holy ghost) is given to Jesus.
So, we all praise and worship Jesus because he is the human God but what we have affection for that exceeds any measure of the proper (not perverse) affection a man could have for a man or woman is the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost loves our spirit (which is also genderless) and we bond with it forever. Men can love their wife’s deeply, more and more as time goes by, no matter how old she gets, all the memories, everything she did for us, how she loved us and if we out live her, we still love her, always. She is not there anymore but the love is just as real as ever. How can a man still be in love with his wife when she is gone?
Her body was only part of her, even without her body the man is still in love with her essence, all that she was and all that she gave. We are not talking about loving the physical body of Jesus here or even falling in love with a man. We are talking about returning some measure of the type of love that was shown to us, no physical human male (or female) bodies involved, just two genderless spirits who have shared the type of love that spirits share.
So, people (men and women) say I love you Jesus (with deep affection) but no one living has physically met Jesus, they speak of the relationship and feelings they have for the Holy Ghost but Jesus gets the credit. So, in this way we can love God with every type of love there is. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost all get different types of love and respect and each is God and all part of each other.
If it’s any consolation, worshiping God really makes it easy to charm the heck out of the ladies (I talk from experience here)..LOL!!! No, never let that be any kind of motivation…But worshiping God is 100% pros with zero cons. Through it you learn more and more of the heart. You learn true humility, you learn how to focus on God and not yourself, you learn true honesty, you learn how to forgive yourself, how to make yourself go to God no matter what you have done and make things right. You learn various, awesome methods of worship, you gain true confidence, faith, are given more and more of God’s essence and power etc, etc and etc.
In short, worshiping God does way more for you then it does for God, though God REALLY loves it.
In any case God said this…Deuteronomy 6:5 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
All God’s children love and worship God as a God and like it, so suck it up pal…(just plain selfish) LOL!
It’s AWESOME derrick! Pour yourself into it, I assure you, it is the most natural thing there is and you want this. The Holy Ghost will have you loving God properly (and you are well on your way). Just put the effort into showing love in this way (praising and worshiping) and the Holy Ghost will show you the type of love to return.