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Lack of the spiritual
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:35 pm
by vendace20
I'm a Christian, and I've been one my whole life (though at about 11 I almost deconverted because I thought there was nothing to indicate a God existed). I've used mostly deductive reasoning to prove to myself I am following the correct religion (of the major religions, I believe Christianity and Judaism are the most logical choices, the main issue for me has always been whether or not God exists). I've convinced myself there's a God using logical reasoning (e.g. the human psyche, laws of physics, apparent guided evolution shown by the interaction of psilocybin and the liver, as an example, evolution of psychoactive substances, several philosophical arguments). My problem is that my whole faith is built on facts and logic alone. I've never felt anything supernatural (like God's presence) during my whole life. There is only one experience I've ever had, and that was under the influence of psilocybin mushrooms (I could feel my soul, this is hard to explain). Now, I don't have a PhD in psychology, but I feel everyone needs to have personal, spritual experiences along with reasoned logic to really have strong faith. My head has concluded Christianity is the correct religion, but my heart doesn't feel it. The only way I can think of to have a spiritual experience for me is to use an entheogen. Even when I've asked for a simple sign a countless number of times I've gotten no response. Not even a little meaningless stimulus from which I could make complex inferences. Nothing at all.
So my question is: Is there something wrong with me (since I've heard just about everyone in the whole wide world claiming to have spiritual experiences, regular conversations (dialogue) with God, signs, visions and the like) or is this the norm?
Re: Lack of the spiritual
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:49 pm
by Proinsias
No, there is nothing wrong with you.
Stop thinking about your chosen religion and live it. If you have reasonably and logically determined Christianity is the religion for you go for it; mind, body and soul - not just dry logic.
Magic mushrooms are not the pinnacle of religious experience, I'm sure most here would agree.
Re: Lack of the spiritual
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:03 pm
by Seraph
I agree with Proinsias, I don't think theres anything wrong with you. I don't think that substances should be used to bring about "spiritual" experiences though because then it's pretty much guarenteed to just be inside your head rather than a real profound experience.
Ultimately I think it's up to God who has spiritual experiences. It's God impacting you rather than you trying to bring God to you. Maybe you will someday, but I wouldn't fret over it.
Re: Lack of the spiritual
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:18 pm
by Big Al
I'm goin through the exact same situation brother. I used to have that presence but I started doing research so I could give evidence to my friends and looked at both sides of the argument so I wouldn't be biased and found out that they have some pretty good evidence for their belief as well. So I pretty much started over because I wondered if the presence I was feeling was all in my head.
I continued doing research on the main beliefs for weeks hours each day. I came to the same conclusion as you that it's either Christianity or jeudasim. I did more research. Now it's Christianity most definitely. The thing is I just don't believe as strongly as I did before. Still so many doubts. Then for about two days I said there is a creator but not the one in the bible because He wasn't answering my prayers. More research and it lead me to Jesus has to be God. Still no passionate feeling. More research and they said it's not supposed to be a feeling or doesn't have to be. But then how can we know for sure? It just seems like you're tellin yourself a lie. I don't want it to be like that. I want to feel that presence I felt before. I have prayed and prayed and still no answer. That brings me to where I am now. Just praying with the tiniest amount of faith I have left. This is truly the darkest period of my life. It feels good to know someone else is goin through the same thing but bad at the same time because it's a bad place to be.
I see Christians all around me with the faith I used to have without a doubt in their mind and I think that's what I used to have. Security comfort and love and a counselor. I guess all we can do man is pray and don't give up. we should talk in the pm thing (personal message) if you want to. I'll pray for you.