Is my faith worthy?
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 8:58 pm
I've been on an agnostic hiatus for the last few years, and seeking to fill the emptiness of life, I've sought adherence to Christianity. As I've come to understand it, (and do correct me if this is incorrect), to be a proper Christian one must accept these core tenets:
1. You are an evil person, deserving of judgment
2. The only way judgment would be satisfied, is mercy through the judge himself
3. Jesus has done so at Calvary
4. Accepting Jesus' mercy as sufficient
Something along those general lines.
Now, after some studying and looking over various arguments for and against, I think the case for Christianity's truth in this regard more probable than the alternatives. But even if I did not, I'd have to say it is rather like being poor and needing a million dollars in 24 hours. The only way to do so would be some form of a gamble. In the same way, I think that the only cure for the condition humanity is in has been found best in Christianity, and true or untrue, it is worth the risk, for nothing else will serve.
My admittedly vague justifications for wanting to believe aside, I wonder if my incomplete faith, as it stands, is good enough. Would God receive something so small? I had always been under the impression that he wanted the faith of a zealot, and any degree of waffling would be unacceptable, and not qualifying as "all your might, mind, and strength".
I ask because I've danced this dance before in adolescence. I believed, was overcame with doubt, and fell in and out from that to agnosticism. Granted, as imperfect humans no faith, except perhaps the truly exceptional and godly, will be strong enough to ensure a steadfast christian walk no matter what for ever and ever. But I get the feeling that if I want God to take me in His company, I'll have to prove that I'm serious, that I won't abandon it again like the last time. But I don't know if I can make that promise. I empathize with this quote: "I believe. Help mine unbelief."
Can I be a true christian, with faith so fragile?
1. You are an evil person, deserving of judgment
2. The only way judgment would be satisfied, is mercy through the judge himself
3. Jesus has done so at Calvary
4. Accepting Jesus' mercy as sufficient
Something along those general lines.
Now, after some studying and looking over various arguments for and against, I think the case for Christianity's truth in this regard more probable than the alternatives. But even if I did not, I'd have to say it is rather like being poor and needing a million dollars in 24 hours. The only way to do so would be some form of a gamble. In the same way, I think that the only cure for the condition humanity is in has been found best in Christianity, and true or untrue, it is worth the risk, for nothing else will serve.
My admittedly vague justifications for wanting to believe aside, I wonder if my incomplete faith, as it stands, is good enough. Would God receive something so small? I had always been under the impression that he wanted the faith of a zealot, and any degree of waffling would be unacceptable, and not qualifying as "all your might, mind, and strength".
I ask because I've danced this dance before in adolescence. I believed, was overcame with doubt, and fell in and out from that to agnosticism. Granted, as imperfect humans no faith, except perhaps the truly exceptional and godly, will be strong enough to ensure a steadfast christian walk no matter what for ever and ever. But I get the feeling that if I want God to take me in His company, I'll have to prove that I'm serious, that I won't abandon it again like the last time. But I don't know if I can make that promise. I empathize with this quote: "I believe. Help mine unbelief."
Can I be a true christian, with faith so fragile?