God has always been with me....

[Zionist]

My testimony is not what i have seen others post; in fact, one would even consider me blessed as i was raised in a healthy christian family. My father had a drug problem before but thnx to much prayer on my moms part and God watching over him he overcame that troubling time in his life. i always respected my father for being honest about his drug issue and i made a promise to God and myself that cuz of my dad's past experience i would learn from it and stay away from drugs and alcohol altogether. although i was raised in a family that believed in God i was never forced to share in those beliefs and at first i followed them blindly as a youth. i thought cuz my mom and dad did they had to be correct but as i got older i questioned many things as i struggled with doubts of God's existence. Many things didn't make sense to me at that time and i always wondered why certain things happened if God was all knowing and all powerful. i started drifting away from my beliefs and soon i started to put God away. I wanted to live life and experience things for myself. eventually i made the decision to move out with a woman that i obsessed over. i thought i was in love with her at the time and i remember my mom talking to me before i moved out with her. She told me something i will never forget. she said to me "do you love her?" naturally i answered yes and she said "how do you know?" i couldn't believe it at the time that my mom was questioning me but now i know she was trying to have me look deep within myself and answer truthfully. i then asked her how do you know when you meet that special person how can you tell you're in love. she said "it may sound cliche but you just know in your heart. it's a feeling you can't describe you just know." the thing is with the woman i was moving out with i didn't know in fact i lied to myself and convinced myself that i did love her and she was right for me. I stayed with her for almost 7 years and in those seven years i strayed further and further away from God. i started to accept certain thing i knew were wrong in my heart and i started to doubt everything i knew even the woman i was with. eventually things got even worse in my relationship and i knew she was cheating on me even though we were never married and the funny thing is some reason i didn't want to make that step. Maybe thats why she cheated but it all came out and we seperated and that's when i didn't know myself anymore. i lost sight of all that i was and i felt i had nothing left. the only things that kept me to get through all the pain and time i lost was my obsession into my hobbies. i lost myself in them and it started showing in my job. i lost my car ( her car i helped pay it off so when she left i was carless.) was on the brink of being fired and i could barely make rent let alone my utilities and food. i remember one day at work i ws miserable like always just doing my job when i heard a voice in my head say to me "why haven't you prayed?" i felt so ashamed and i knew that it was God speaking to me in my mind. all this time i questioned and put God away but he never put me away. i prayed while working a lot that day and told God that i wanted to get know him more and to show me things, answer my questions but i asked that he please be patient with me. After that i started to appreciate the things i had and how even though how ungrateful i was and how much i put God away he always was there watching over me. i just knew in my heart he was and then something amazing happened at my job. i met this woman who was working seasonal and she seemed pretty nice so we started talking and being around her i felt this warmth around her. that woman turned out to be me my wife God through her helped me learn so much about him and all the questions i had he answered when i started reading his word. God really has been with me a lot and although i still mess up and make mistakes and may even doubt myself from time to time i know that God is always there for me to help through the storms of life. i love reading and i even have bible study with fellow brothers at my job. God has really opened my mind up to so much i couldn't even list em all here but one thing i know for sure now is that feeling that my mother was telling me before i moved out with my girlfriend at the time. i now know what she meant when she said you would just know cuz with my wife i knew she was the woman for me and through that love i now have a son and has shed so much meaning about how God views us. i consider myself very blessed and i will say to anyone that feels they have no purpose in life please read Ephesians cuz in there you will see that you are someone to God a saint and adopted to his family. a child of the most high God whose love for you knows no bounds.

[seveneyes]

Awesome...I love when I read something and after I have no words, no questions, nothing to add...just appreciation and love. Peace

[Silvertusk]

Beautiful Zionist - thank you for sharing.

[B. W.]

Very touching Zionist!

Praise God!
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[Zionist]

thanks for the comments everyone and praise be to God always and forever. although my testimony may not be like others i find it beautiful that all testimonies are unique in their own right. It shows how God personally touches our lives.