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SonofAletheia wrote:
First, do you love her enough to settle down with her the rest of your life?
I think so. I'm not 100% sure but who is, right?
Secondly, what do your personal standards, morals and integrity say about the first point?
About settling down? Well, I think once one is married you should do everything (within reason) to stay together through easy or tough times
Thirdly, do you know the difference between feelings, emotions, sex, desires, and what actual love is?
Honestly thats what i am struggling with right now. Words like love and feelings are somewhat ambiguous and the media today doesn't help clarify them.
Fourthly, if she becomes pregnant will you remain committed to raise the child together for the next 20 years?
Yes of course. But we have already both talked about no premarital sex.
Fifthly, would she answer the above questions as you would?
She would probably be more confident in our relationship than me. It seems like she already has made up her mind about me whereas I'm still not completely sure.
I am glad you answered the questions.
You say you struggle with the third question I posed to you:
Thirdly, do you know the difference between feelings, emotions, sex, desires, and what actual love is?
If you look at your answers to questions one, two, four, and five as you admit to not understanding what love really is. So let's look at your answers and see what love is about and learn:
First answer to the first question you said:
I think so. I'm not 100% sure but who is, right?
You think so – but not 100 percent sure - you either are or are not. Any doubts you have appear toward you and not her.
So your first lesson about what Love is –
is commitment – you may have to deal with some of your personal fears, reasons for wavering in a committed relationship, selfishness, etc, so you can actually love – true Love commits to the best for the other person and not what you can get out of another. Lack that – relationships just will not last..
Your Second answer:
About settling down? Well, I think once one is married you should do everything (within reason) to stay together through easy or tough times
This is your second lesson on what true love is: True Love would not have a clause – within reason - attached to it. The question was to you – would you stay with her and her you through thick and thin, better or worse, help each other, forgive each other after getting on each other’s nerves? Avoiding suspicions – not abandoning each other when you both lose the good looks and charm for another? That’s Love. It takes time to develop and you both must be willing to take the time to grow together… Love is willing to stay together and there are no
Within Reasons attached to it. Are you willing to commit to her and her to you – for the life of you both? That’s love.
Your Fourth answer:
Yes of course. But we have already both talked about no premarital sex.
Engage in any type of petting, and such – well many babies came into the world due to that as it leads to a loss of control –often! So you must learn the other aspect of Love Responsibility and Respect. Responsibility to the child and Her – to nurture both and cherish both even when you are burn out, feeling tired, long day at work – you must cherish, nurture, build up. This is where many men fail. As men in this western society – we are rarely taught how to be men – who take responsibility to cherish and nurture a family. Love does not seek its own ways. Do you have that regard toward her and her you? Respect her and her toward you?
Your Fifth answer:
She would probably be more confident in our relationship than me. It seems like she already has made up her mind about me whereas I'm still not completely sure.
True Love would be sure. That is the next lesson on love you need to learn as a man. Sp please take some take the time and think about Love as commitment, responsibility, respect, cherishing, nurturing, building up, believing in another person and she in you, deal with your own insecurities, and personal issues, through Jesus Christ in your heart. You’ll do well learning what Love is.
So now to your third answer here:
Honestly thats what i am struggling with right now. Words like love and feelings are somewhat ambiguous and the media today doesn't help clarify them.
At least you are honest. You do not know what Love is. Many reasons for this – maybe divorce affect your family or hers, maybe not? Maybe there was a lot of parental fighting – I do not know your background.
Maybe you have a fear of rejection or an issues of abandonment you need to deal with – again I do not know what you need to work through and that is the next lesson of Love – you love her and she loves you – you would mature in dealing with any psychological issues that keeps your love in a lust, or my needs first and only, area which will quench love..
So as you learn to deal with your personal issues mature into that -
what’s best for her and possibly a child – I can do this – love with commitment, responsibility, cherishing, nurturing, respecting, building up, believing in her and she you, and you have discovered love. Are you willing?
The best way to discover love is for both of you to know who Jesus Christ is and let him heal your hurts, and mature your love for each other. You appear to me to have a fear of commitment and in need of some work on the inside that only the Holy Spirit can do.
I had the privilege to be able to lead my own older sister to the Lord today and would like to lead you as well. You need to know Christ Jesus as he can teach and lead you and guide you and clean you up and heal you and teach you what it means to be a man. Would you like this?
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