God+Existence+Cure for Existential Depression *Must read*
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:49 pm
My background: I am a healthy 21 year old man going to university. It took me 3 days to make this realization after having a heated debate with some God promoters on campus. As a result, I got a life-threatening condition called Existential Depression which lead me to having a panic attack, clinical depression, and thoughts of suicide...all in 3 days. I have never felt like that in my life, I have always been a high level critical thinker, and I've always been extremely confident. What you are about to read is me being the devil's advocate as well as my realization. So if you are one of these victims of Existential Depression or simply want to read my fool-proof answer to everything, keep reading.
Existential Depression: No situational or chemical causes. It is not the fear of fear or anxiety from having anxiety. I could be afraid of driving because driving causes fear. That has an easy solution. If you don't care about driving, you simply won't drive anymore. If you really care about driving, you face it head on. What I had was the fear of fear of existence coming from a healthy mind that's AFRAID of suicide. Talk about insanity. Why was it so bad? Because the fear of fear of existence caused me to have a panic attack which lead to more anxiety, and more fear of another panic attack which lead to depression, and ultimately suicidal thoughts. From research, only gifted individuals with a high level in critical thinking experience this. Anxiety can create itself.
My panic/anxiety attack: It was the 1st time I've had a panic attack in my life, sober. I got "dizziness of freedom". The world around me didn't feel familiar anymore. I felt trapped, I felt derealization, I wanted to jump out of my body but I couldn't. I wanted to do SOMETHING to make it end RIGHT NOW and that something was what freaked me out even more! If I could take all the physical pain I've had in my life and have it happen twice as frequent in my life in exchange for this panic attack, I would do it. I felt like I did something so bad and horrible to someone and the simple solution would have been to go over to them and say I was sorry. My chest was tight, it felt like a BURDEN. Everything was just flashing before my eyes, it was the worst feeling in my life.
These realizations happened in chronological order with my subjective definitions of key terms described first, so that my realizations can make sense for you.
Perfect: The realization of being imperfect.
Free will: 2 types. Sexual and asexual. Everything made by God has sexual free will, meaning that free will allows us to feel sexual attraction. God has asexual free will. God is the only spirit that can create anything but the price is that he is unable to fall in love at a man to woman level.
Sin: Sin isn't really what most people think it is. Sin does not have to be followed through with. Sin is the very thought of doing a sin. No it's not, that's temptation and temptation is not an action. False. Thinking is an action. Therefore thinking of a sin is sinning. Yes, but you do not entertain the thought. False. You became entertained the moment before you begin to entertain it even more. What sin really is, is anxiety. Not just any anxiety, but anxiety from the feeling of not believing in God/going against God. Sin is subjective, not objective. Many people can't accept a relationship with God because the compromise they have to make is non-negotiable. For example, I am fond of sex before marriage. Since sin is going against having a relationship with God, I am sinning already. God truly is easy of having a relationship with, however. Having a relationship with God doesn't mean you have to adhere to all the objective examples of Sin. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Do whatever you feel is desirable as long as it comes from peace of mind. Anything else, ask for forgiveness and he will forgive.
Biblical Proof: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life." Matthew 6:25
God: God isn't really what most people think he is. God is the creator of everything, including evil. Therefore, God is neither good nor evil, he really just is the creator. God is the only thing that is actually nothing, but since there is no concrete definition of nothing (and by that I mean nothing as it is, without you or I being alive to be aware of the concept OR any other creature being aware of it while when we die), nothing is just the supernatural. No appearance, no location, no movement. That means God is nothing in the sense of everything because he is everywhere. If you still think God is perfect, God created Man. Man sins which means something imperfect came from something perfect. But no, God didn't make us with sin. He made us with free will and we choose to sin. False. Having the free will to sin makes free will a sin in itself. Ok ok, but Adam & Eve were perfect until they sinned, and it's because of THEM that we are here. So something perfect sinned. Sounds like they are no more human than us, so what if they were the first to set the record to sin. How did they sin? Satan tempted them. How? He took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden. Who made the Garden of Eden? God. How could Satan get into the Garden of Eden? Satan was an angel named Lucifer. Who made the angels? God did. God is perfect, but his imperfections are what make him perfect. God can only be mono. If he is poly, then poly is mono.
Biblical Proof: "(I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." Isaiah 45:7
Before God? Impossible. Infinite regress is impossible. That means you cannot have infinite causes. Here's why. What is bigger? Infinity or infinity +1? That's right, infinity doesn't exist therefore we can't infinitely go back in time and we can't infinitely go into the future because we and every other being who has the concept of infinity whether here or on a distant planet will come to an end. Infinity exists as long as the being aware of it exists. with this in mind, knowing the concept of infinity means that it is non-existent. something infinite gave us the ability to think of infinity so forget infinity and replace it with supernatural. If you can count up infinitely and down infinitely so infinities are the same, how come positive infinity is bigger than negative infinity? That means you can't infinitely go back in time so you can't have anything before God/Big Bang which means God made Big Bang, but nothing made God. Universe couldn't have been around forever either b/c infinite amount of time had to pass to reach present with appearance and location of things remaining unchanged. There are exactly as many even numbers as integers, and even worse, as many rational numbers as integers so now that you think all infinities are the same, we have the real numbers which are larger than the set of integers.
Material world: The environment created by God. Why is everything so intricate and orderly? Why do blobs like nebulae form something orderly? Why do our ribs look the way they do? DNA? The material world is a labyrinth for us. It is to give us clues about God or to give us clues about Satan (believing God doesn't exist). All the other organisms lack spirit because they can't question their own existence. We are made to question everything. Something wants us to question it all until we accept that a creator exists...or that everything is meaningless. You can't live thinking 100% negative or .001% negative because negative stems from negativity. Or u can choose the opposite. This is free will. Drugs affect our mind but our mind itself is more powerful than the chemicals that regulate it. That can't be entirely material as in animals. 99% of people die thinking "I don't know" or actually having a faith. Just as long as they don't commit suicide as a result of anxiety/depression unless they did something out of spite and for spite that put them in a permanent depression or if they think they're God. God gave you a brain to realize you aren't God.
Cure: At first I embraced Agnosticism where I don't approve/disapprove of God/Big Bang. After I had that heavy debate, I switched to Absurdism which is a branch of Existentialism and Nihilism. The meaning of life is meaninglessness itself. Everything we do are just distractions. God came from something else because something can't come from nothing so he can't be accepted. Also, religion is just another way to cope by shunning the material world and embracing the spiritual world. People are forced to face the question sooner or later. Either through a traumatic event or age. We can't answer the question to our existence and that is the answer to our existence. Literally. That is what is keeping all of us alive. I didn't know that yet, that's when I had the panic attack. After that I finally believed anxiety is Satan himself trying to make me depressed and go suicidal and having a relationship with God means getting rid of that anxiety. Sounds good. Not quite. Anything bad I got anxiety from which is doubting God, I attempted to speculate into something good. It didn't work. I researched anxiety and the way to beat it is to face it head on. Well how the hell can I face the anxiety of anxiety? By embracing it. What was really happening was that the moment I felt anxiety of anxiety towards God, I felt GUILT. My instant response was to avoid the anxiety by fooling myself that I was facing it head on. It was a vicious cycle. Now what if I am a solider who killed someone I didn't want to? Not a sin. Not because it was self defense. But because I didn't put myself in a situation with the intention to kill someone. It even goes outside of
Cure: What believing in God really means is that you can't find the answer to your own existence or God himself. This is the only way to have existential joy which isn't some sort of happiness or rush you get from getting out of the depression of something objective. This is a very subtle feeling that conceals your anxiety of existence. It is simply accepting that you will never escape depression. The more you try to believe in God, the less you believe in him.
Existential Depression: No situational or chemical causes. It is not the fear of fear or anxiety from having anxiety. I could be afraid of driving because driving causes fear. That has an easy solution. If you don't care about driving, you simply won't drive anymore. If you really care about driving, you face it head on. What I had was the fear of fear of existence coming from a healthy mind that's AFRAID of suicide. Talk about insanity. Why was it so bad? Because the fear of fear of existence caused me to have a panic attack which lead to more anxiety, and more fear of another panic attack which lead to depression, and ultimately suicidal thoughts. From research, only gifted individuals with a high level in critical thinking experience this. Anxiety can create itself.
My panic/anxiety attack: It was the 1st time I've had a panic attack in my life, sober. I got "dizziness of freedom". The world around me didn't feel familiar anymore. I felt trapped, I felt derealization, I wanted to jump out of my body but I couldn't. I wanted to do SOMETHING to make it end RIGHT NOW and that something was what freaked me out even more! If I could take all the physical pain I've had in my life and have it happen twice as frequent in my life in exchange for this panic attack, I would do it. I felt like I did something so bad and horrible to someone and the simple solution would have been to go over to them and say I was sorry. My chest was tight, it felt like a BURDEN. Everything was just flashing before my eyes, it was the worst feeling in my life.
These realizations happened in chronological order with my subjective definitions of key terms described first, so that my realizations can make sense for you.
Perfect: The realization of being imperfect.
Free will: 2 types. Sexual and asexual. Everything made by God has sexual free will, meaning that free will allows us to feel sexual attraction. God has asexual free will. God is the only spirit that can create anything but the price is that he is unable to fall in love at a man to woman level.
Sin: Sin isn't really what most people think it is. Sin does not have to be followed through with. Sin is the very thought of doing a sin. No it's not, that's temptation and temptation is not an action. False. Thinking is an action. Therefore thinking of a sin is sinning. Yes, but you do not entertain the thought. False. You became entertained the moment before you begin to entertain it even more. What sin really is, is anxiety. Not just any anxiety, but anxiety from the feeling of not believing in God/going against God. Sin is subjective, not objective. Many people can't accept a relationship with God because the compromise they have to make is non-negotiable. For example, I am fond of sex before marriage. Since sin is going against having a relationship with God, I am sinning already. God truly is easy of having a relationship with, however. Having a relationship with God doesn't mean you have to adhere to all the objective examples of Sin. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Do whatever you feel is desirable as long as it comes from peace of mind. Anything else, ask for forgiveness and he will forgive.
Biblical Proof: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life." Matthew 6:25
God: God isn't really what most people think he is. God is the creator of everything, including evil. Therefore, God is neither good nor evil, he really just is the creator. God is the only thing that is actually nothing, but since there is no concrete definition of nothing (and by that I mean nothing as it is, without you or I being alive to be aware of the concept OR any other creature being aware of it while when we die), nothing is just the supernatural. No appearance, no location, no movement. That means God is nothing in the sense of everything because he is everywhere. If you still think God is perfect, God created Man. Man sins which means something imperfect came from something perfect. But no, God didn't make us with sin. He made us with free will and we choose to sin. False. Having the free will to sin makes free will a sin in itself. Ok ok, but Adam & Eve were perfect until they sinned, and it's because of THEM that we are here. So something perfect sinned. Sounds like they are no more human than us, so what if they were the first to set the record to sin. How did they sin? Satan tempted them. How? He took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden. Who made the Garden of Eden? God. How could Satan get into the Garden of Eden? Satan was an angel named Lucifer. Who made the angels? God did. God is perfect, but his imperfections are what make him perfect. God can only be mono. If he is poly, then poly is mono.
Biblical Proof: "(I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." Isaiah 45:7
Before God? Impossible. Infinite regress is impossible. That means you cannot have infinite causes. Here's why. What is bigger? Infinity or infinity +1? That's right, infinity doesn't exist therefore we can't infinitely go back in time and we can't infinitely go into the future because we and every other being who has the concept of infinity whether here or on a distant planet will come to an end. Infinity exists as long as the being aware of it exists. with this in mind, knowing the concept of infinity means that it is non-existent. something infinite gave us the ability to think of infinity so forget infinity and replace it with supernatural. If you can count up infinitely and down infinitely so infinities are the same, how come positive infinity is bigger than negative infinity? That means you can't infinitely go back in time so you can't have anything before God/Big Bang which means God made Big Bang, but nothing made God. Universe couldn't have been around forever either b/c infinite amount of time had to pass to reach present with appearance and location of things remaining unchanged. There are exactly as many even numbers as integers, and even worse, as many rational numbers as integers so now that you think all infinities are the same, we have the real numbers which are larger than the set of integers.
Material world: The environment created by God. Why is everything so intricate and orderly? Why do blobs like nebulae form something orderly? Why do our ribs look the way they do? DNA? The material world is a labyrinth for us. It is to give us clues about God or to give us clues about Satan (believing God doesn't exist). All the other organisms lack spirit because they can't question their own existence. We are made to question everything. Something wants us to question it all until we accept that a creator exists...or that everything is meaningless. You can't live thinking 100% negative or .001% negative because negative stems from negativity. Or u can choose the opposite. This is free will. Drugs affect our mind but our mind itself is more powerful than the chemicals that regulate it. That can't be entirely material as in animals. 99% of people die thinking "I don't know" or actually having a faith. Just as long as they don't commit suicide as a result of anxiety/depression unless they did something out of spite and for spite that put them in a permanent depression or if they think they're God. God gave you a brain to realize you aren't God.
Cure: At first I embraced Agnosticism where I don't approve/disapprove of God/Big Bang. After I had that heavy debate, I switched to Absurdism which is a branch of Existentialism and Nihilism. The meaning of life is meaninglessness itself. Everything we do are just distractions. God came from something else because something can't come from nothing so he can't be accepted. Also, religion is just another way to cope by shunning the material world and embracing the spiritual world. People are forced to face the question sooner or later. Either through a traumatic event or age. We can't answer the question to our existence and that is the answer to our existence. Literally. That is what is keeping all of us alive. I didn't know that yet, that's when I had the panic attack. After that I finally believed anxiety is Satan himself trying to make me depressed and go suicidal and having a relationship with God means getting rid of that anxiety. Sounds good. Not quite. Anything bad I got anxiety from which is doubting God, I attempted to speculate into something good. It didn't work. I researched anxiety and the way to beat it is to face it head on. Well how the hell can I face the anxiety of anxiety? By embracing it. What was really happening was that the moment I felt anxiety of anxiety towards God, I felt GUILT. My instant response was to avoid the anxiety by fooling myself that I was facing it head on. It was a vicious cycle. Now what if I am a solider who killed someone I didn't want to? Not a sin. Not because it was self defense. But because I didn't put myself in a situation with the intention to kill someone. It even goes outside of
Cure: What believing in God really means is that you can't find the answer to your own existence or God himself. This is the only way to have existential joy which isn't some sort of happiness or rush you get from getting out of the depression of something objective. This is a very subtle feeling that conceals your anxiety of existence. It is simply accepting that you will never escape depression. The more you try to believe in God, the less you believe in him.