Depressed and Disillusioned

[Danieltwotwenty]

Hi guys

I don't usually ask people to pray for me, but I am really struggling with some things at the moment.

I appreciate any time you give for me in prayer.

[Philip]

Will do, Daniel!

[RickD]

Sure thing Daniel.

[PaulSacramento]

Anything you wanna talk about ?

[B. W.]

Hi guys

I don't usually ask people to pray for me, but I am really struggling with some things at the moment.

I appreciate any time you give for me in prayer.

Hi Daniel, please send me a Privet Message (PM) if you like and we can discuss things there...
-
-
-

[bippy123]

You got it my friend
Bippy

[Danieltwotwenty]

Anything you wanna talk about ?

Hey Paul

This is what I sent to the people who PM me, it's not really private so I am happy to post here.


Well all my life I was abused and bullied, I got bullied at school, I got bullied at home, even my "friends" bullied me.
Even now I still feel bullied, my friends never call unless they want something, they never visit unless I ask them over.
But my main concern is that I asked my Pastor early last year to be baptised, I have been going there for 5 years now and wanted to make my commitment to God. He was happy to do it and we agreed for Febuary, it never eventuated.
This time there was an announcement at church that baptism Sunday was coming up, so I put up my hand again. This time I got passed over again because I wasn't told about the first class and I was away when it was on and my Pastor can't find the time to fill me in separately. So he rang me and asked if it was ok to do it in Feb again. Why I have to do a class for baptism is beyond me, I am sure Jesus would have immediately taken me to some water and done it.

This is the story of my life, I always get pushed to the back of the que, I am the unwanted child that no one wants to play with.

I am starting to think there is something wrong with me, I feel so alone and abandoned.

[Furstentum Liechtenstein]

Count yourself lucky. You are in a trial. Your faith will come out stronger.

FL

[Philip]

Daniel, also, pray for the ability to be more assertive and proactive, as opposed to reactive. And you don't have to wait until you FEEL confident to be more assertive. You'll find it tends to build your confidence as you begin to be more assertive. Act
AS IF you have confidence, even when you do not (this is not to mean feel self important or to act arrogantly) FEEL confident. You'll find that ACTING confident tends to make people see you as being a confident person - and thus they will respond to you as such. This, in turn will build your actual confidence. Also, the inverse it true. Never forget who you are in Christ, and that YOUR voice and opinions matter. You have value because of who you are in Him!

[1over137]

Anything you wanna talk about ?

Hey Paul

This is what I sent to the people who PM me, it's not really private so I am happy to post here.


Well all my life I was abused and bullied, I got bullied at school, I got bullied at home, even my "friends" bullied me.
Even now I still feel bullied, my friends never call unless they want something, they never visit unless I ask them over.
But my main concern is that I asked my Pastor early last year to be baptised, I have been going there for 5 years now and wanted to make my commitment to God. He was happy to do it and we agreed for Febuary, it never eventuated.
This time there was an announcement at church that baptism Sunday was coming up, so I put up my hand again. This time I got passed over again because I wasn't told about the first class and I was away when it was on and my Pastor can't find the time to fill me in separately. So he rang me and asked if it was ok to do it in Feb again. Why I have to do a class for baptism is beyond me, I am sure Jesus would have immediately taken me to some water and done it.

This is the story of my life, I always get pushed to the back of the que, I am the unwanted child that no one wants to play with.

I am starting to think there is something wrong with me, I feel so alone and abandoned.

Dan, I see in your story little bit of my story. But you are in church for 5 years already, so I cannot compare that much. But, also was eager to get baptized and was told only after having classes. Also I was not regular visitor and nit visiting that long. But still, I felt like an outsider there. What got me (last drop) was when i desperately needed to stay with Christians one sunday, few days after baby of my brother was born death due to negligence of local hospital. To three people i said and asked i would like to be with them (did not say about the baby), but that day i was left alone. I then went to town and wrote one of my best poems. It's in Slovak but it is about that when we focus on something else than God it may happen that life can take it from us.

I am currently looking forward to ending in another church. This week I met local pastor and he is fantastic person.

Dan, i was making fun of too, in grammar school, in high school, all my life not belonging to some larger group of people. But, as life went on, I got stronger, am not dependent on people that much anymore. God is my friend.

Well, if you something do not like, tell it to the pastor. If he takes it wrongly, maybe there is another bunch of Christians waiting for you.

I told myself, that when I do not like something on my next church I would like to belong to, I will confront it.

And friends, who does not take care of you, are not friends.

Peace brother,
God is with you and THAT is the most important friendship to have.

[Danieltwotwenty]

Hi guys

Thanks for the advice so far, I just need some time to absorb what everyone is saying.

[Danieltwotwenty]

Well what a weekend.

Firstly I wanted to clarify, that I do not think my Pastor was trying to bully me, sorry if I gave anyone that impression. I just felt like I was being shoved to the back of the queue as I have happen to me all my life.

I really appreciate all the support and messages and everyone gave really good advice and encouragement.

Count yourself lucky. You are in a trial. Your faith will come out stronger.

You nailed it FL

I have come out stronger in my faith.


I was wallowing in self pity all Friday and Saturday and was contemplating not going to go to Church on Sunday, one of my friends called as he had forgotton he was supposed to be doing the reading but couldn't attend. So being me as always I agreed to do the reading, so now without excuse I had to go, but I am glad that I did.

I know my Pastor was displeased with himself that I could't get baptized this time around, especially since this was the third time he had cancelled, I could hear it in his voice on the phone when he called me and I think he knew I was not going to take it well even though I may have sounded ok. He knows me well enough to know that I am very good at putting on a mask and soldiering on and burying any hurt deep inside.

Yesterday during announcements he talked about the up coming baptism and he also made a point of saying I will be getting baptized in January, to me he was saying no more excuses, this has been publicly declared now and he has to be held to it.

I have learnt many things though this and I feel stronger than ever.

I will be patient and let it happen in God's time.

[1over137]

So, January.

[DRDS]

Praying too.

[ChristianScientistAnn]

Hi Daniel,
I just read this thread, and I'm wondering, if it is alright to ask, Did you get baptized in January as you had hoped?
Ann