Hi all,
I need you to keep me in your prayers. I feel like I'm losing my mojo with the women. Usually when I post a joke here, or make a joke in "real life", the women really enjoy my sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I posted, using my usual biting sarcasm, and Melanie didn't find my joke funny. See?
http://discussions.godandscience.org/vi ... ng#p155762
I'm short, ugly, poor, and now my jokes don't make women laugh. What can I do? If my sense of humor is failing me, I have nothing left in life! I am a poor, poor soul!
Please pray for my mojo to return.
Prayers please
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RickD
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Prayers please
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Prayers please
Contact melanie directly and tell her you appreciate her. She's Australian, so she speaks with a funny accent, and she drives on the wrong side of the road. Ask Danieltwotwenty to teach you some Aussie Strine (something beyond ''G'day! You wash up good, mate!'') and write clearly that you enjoy her presence here... and tell her you like her to-the-point, succinct, no-nonsense posts.
I'm convinced that you are living through a cultural misunderstanding. Go for it, I'll pray for you (maybe, if I remember.)
FL
I'm convinced that you are living through a cultural misunderstanding. Go for it, I'll pray for you (maybe, if I remember.)
FL
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
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1over137
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Re: Prayers please
Ok, let me see. Am woman. Try some joke.
But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good.
-- 1 Thessalonians 5:21
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
-- Philippians 1:6
#foreverinmyheart
-- 1 Thessalonians 5:21
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
-- Philippians 1:6
#foreverinmyheart
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RickD
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Re: Prayers please
Ok, I'll try...1over137 wrote:Ok, let me see. Am woman. Try some joke.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
Philip
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Re: Prayers please
You need to try HARDER! Most women will see that as an inappropriate, sexist joke. Or maybe you just need new material.Ok, I'll try...
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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FlawedIntellect
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Re: Prayers please
Much of Rick's sexist humor tends to be rather cringe-worthy. Should we pray instead that he stops making jokes? Or should we pray that he develops an actual sense of humor?
Because his jokes are just terrible!
Because his jokes are just terrible!
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RickD
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Re: Prayers please
Sorry Philip. How about this one...Philip wrote:You need to try HARDER! Most women will see that as an inappropriate, sexist joke. Or maybe you just need new material.Ok, I'll try...
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Q: A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it?
A: The man's fault. Why was he driving in the kitchen?
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
RickD
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Re: Prayers please
See what I mean? FlawedIntellect is a woman, and she doesn't like my jokes!FlawedIntellect wrote:Much of Rick's sexist humor tends to be rather cringe-worthy. Should we pray instead that he stops making jokes? Or should we pray that he develops an actual sense of humor?
Because his jokes are just terrible!
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
RickD
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Re: Prayers please
Don't like those?
How about this one?
Q:What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?
A: A widower.
How about this one?
Q:What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?
A: A widower.
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
Philip
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Re: Prayers please
GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Right when you think he's told his worse joke - he tops himself.
Of course, my wife always accuses me of having an inappropriate sense of humor - to which I'm fond of responding, "Sweetheart, at least I HAVE a sense of humor." Which is always met by a look of sympathy or disgust. I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!" Can one get a divorce by claiming insanity prior to the wedding - I wonder.
Right when you think he's told his worse joke - he tops himself.
Of course, my wife always accuses me of having an inappropriate sense of humor - to which I'm fond of responding, "Sweetheart, at least I HAVE a sense of humor." Which is always met by a look of sympathy or disgust. I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!" Can one get a divorce by claiming insanity prior to the wedding - I wonder.
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Furstentum Liechtenstein
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Re: Prayers please
Rick's wife is a mail-order bride from Canada. She ain't divorcing anytime soon. Even living with Rick is better than living in Canada.Philip wrote:I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!"
FL
Hold everything lightly. If you don't, it will hurt when God pries your fingers loose as He takes it from you. -Corrie Ten Boom
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
+ + +
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home.
+ + +
-
RickD
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Re: Prayers please
Wow, tough crowd!
Hana, help me! You're my only hope!
Hana, help me! You're my only hope!
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
RickD
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Re: Prayers please
Gee, thanks.Furstentum Liechtenstein wrote:Rick's wife is a mail-order bride from Canada. She ain't divorcing anytime soon. Even living with Rick is better than living in Canada.Philip wrote:I'm guessing Rick's wife must have a much better - or fairly bizarre - sense of humor. Else she wouldn't have said, "I do!"
FL
And living in Canada is slightly better than living in a forced labor camp in Siberia.
I'm even more depressed now! Why don't you just kill my dog!
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
-
melanie
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Re: Prayers please
You will be in my prayers RickRickD wrote:Hi all,
I need you to keep me in your prayers. I feel like I'm losing my mojo with the women. Usually when I post a joke here, or make a joke in "real life", the women really enjoy my sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I posted, using my usual biting sarcasm, and Melanie didn't find my joke funny. See?
http://discussions.godandscience.org/vi ... ng#p155762
I'm short, ugly, poor, and now my jokes don't make women laugh. What can I do? If my sense of humor is failing me, I have nothing left in life! I am a poor, poor soul!
Please pray for my mojo to return.
We must not and can not have you losing your mojo with the women
and your being far to hard on yourself, ugly, short, poor and mildly, ocassionally, slighty amusing is understated and not nearly appreciated enough 
I read back your response and guess what I laughed
Think I needed to take the bit too serious pole outta my derriere.Your other material may need a little work but gotta give you props for trying.
I have a joke for you, not my best material but my other's may be a little inappropriate
How did pinocchio know he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire
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RickD
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Re: Prayers please
Thank you Melanie.melanie wrote:You will be in my prayers RickRickD wrote:Hi all,
I need you to keep me in your prayers. I feel like I'm losing my mojo with the women. Usually when I post a joke here, or make a joke in "real life", the women really enjoy my sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I posted, using my usual biting sarcasm, and Melanie didn't find my joke funny. See?
http://discussions.godandscience.org/vi ... ng#p155762
I'm short, ugly, poor, and now my jokes don't make women laugh. What can I do? If my sense of humor is failing me, I have nothing left in life! I am a poor, poor soul!
Please pray for my mojo to return.
We must not and can not have you losing your mojo with the women
I read back your response and guess what I laughed
Your other material may need a little work but gotta give you props for trying.
I have a joke for you, not my best material but my other's may be a little inappropriate
How did pinocchio know he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire
And as for your joke, have you ever heard the saying, "some things are better left unsaid"?
John 5:24
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
“A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.”
-Edward R Murrow
St. Richard the Sarcastic--The Patron Saint of Irony