Thank You All - How This Board Helped Renew My Faith
Posted: Wed May 21, 2014 7:46 pm
I believe that it is by the grace of God that I have stumbled upon this forum. I first stumbled upon this site in March, but it was only until May that I actually discovered the discussion boards. During this time, I have been having the biggest struggle with my faith I have had in a while ( possibly ever). The trigger of my doubt started in December of last year when my best friend Montana died. Under peer pressure, Montana tried what he thought was LSD, but it was a research chemical dubbed N-BOme or "N-Bomb." This chemical was much more than his body could handle, and he died in the emergency room. He was one of the closest of people I have ever had to a brother, but some unfortunate decisions brought an end to the person that I had admired and spent time with for the longest time. It was at this time that I asked myself the question, "Is there really a god; have I just been living a lie all this time?" "Why would a loving god let this happen to such a good person?" I felt broken and guilty that the last things I had ever said to him was spoken in a dispute between him and I. It was truly saddening that our last words with each other were spoken in spite. I started doubting God, and I was an atheist for a few months. One day I was cleaning my room when I stumbled upon my Bible, which I hadn't read in months. I gave a little snicker and thought "whatever." This suddenly sparked my curiosity, and I started having many thoughts rush through my mind. I started to lament on the fact that there was no hope. When I meet the same fate as my friend, it's the end. Everything I had and will have achieved in my life will have been for naught. I started to have a feeling of wanting... wanting for something to give my hope... for something to cleanse this void that was in my heart. I went online and typed in my Google search bar, " Is there a god?" The first site that popped up was a website named GodandScience.org. I thought to myself, " God and science; what kind of nonsense is this?" Through the wonderfully-written articles by Rich Deem, I had a little glimmer of hope. I then stumbled upon the forum section, and registered as "YoungApologist" as a representation of how my faith was in a constant defense against the world, and how my faith was still young ( just like me). I made a thread named "URGENT!! My Growing Anxiety and Depression," with the intent of letting out all my problems in an attempt to finally get the answer I had been looking for. It was through a PM session with 1over137 and various discussions with other members that my faith in Jesus was restored and I learned that I was not alone. I think I now know what the force behind salvation is, the Holy Spirit. It is not through logic and reasoning, but through the hope that dwells within us all. It is the desire to have meaning, joy, and happiness. It is through the blood and body of Jesus that we will one day discard all of our troubles and gain a new life without sadness or despair. It is the reminder that we don't have to be totally lost. We may have troubles in our lives in the present and the future, but our savior will one day return and rid of the feelings that once controlled us. By ourselves it is impossible, but through Jesus, NOTHING is impossible. Through him, the strongholds of despair our broken and we our free from our binding that is sin. Satan may tempt us, but the GLORY and the POWER of God will keep us strong. There are tears in my eyes as I type this. The joy I'm feeling changes my life from " I hope he's real," to " I KNOW he's real." If this is how salvation feels on the Earth for a month, then I can't wait to experience eternal salvation by the likes of which I had never seen. To 1over137, I thank you deeply for the PMs you sent me, and I thank everyone else for the support they have given me.
