A Sincere Apology
Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:45 am
It's been a while hasn't it? I haven't logged in here since 2012, and haven't posted since 2010, so it's been a long seven years since I've done anything here. I have returned for several reasons, and I will outline them here, but I wanted to make the point before hand that I am not here to "bash" anyway, or spread rumors. I've been to some very dark places in my life, and have not been the man of God that I could have been, thanks to some people in my life, and I will go over what I can, but many details will remain hidden because I do not wish to be the one to slander others.
However, my first and foremost reason for this post is to say sorry. I am sincerely sorry for all I've done here, and I owe all of you an apology for my actions. While they were very influenced by one person who sought to control me, that is no excuse. I have the ability to refuse to do what others ask of me, my actions are my own and I must take responsibility for them. There are many people on here I am sure that I hurt, and it was due to my own lack of will to resist doing what I was told to do, that it happened. I am sorry for all that I've done, and I mean that. To each and every person I spoke ill of, insulted, or did any wrong to, I am sorry.
The past seven years of my life and been, for lack of a better term, a living hell. One of my gravest mistakes was when I came here, and allowed myself to be manipulated and taken advantage of, that lead me down this road. Granted my life at the time was also a sort of living hell, this just made it so much worse. I will leave out the name of the individual who I allowed to do this to me, but suffice to say, it was a poor choice at best to let my guard down, and allow myself to be dragged into what I had hoped to be "love".
Those of you who have been here far longer than I will remember my first reason for coming here was that I was lonely, and afraid, and wanted someone to love me. My health was failing, I had few friends, no love, and little to look forward to in life. During that time of searching, one person came into my life, who promised me love and so much more. This person used my poor health and feelings of being alone to get me to do what she wanted, and from that point out I allowed myself to be controlled and manipulated into doing what she asked, and was never allowed to question it.
To cut a long story short, I went through seven years of mental and emotional abuse at the hands of this person. I do not wish to slander names, but I do wish to bring forth the honest truth. In this time I had seen a councilor, and a psychologist, in an attempt to get a grip on life and survive what I was going through. I was asked many times to leave her, for my own mental and physical health, and that was something I was afraid to do.
It was thanks to the strength of one friend that I met online that I was finally able to break the chains that bound me to a sinful and hurtful lifestyle, and get free. I have moved away from this person who hurt me so badly, and have been working on rebuilding lost friendships. I won't go into too much detail on that, as many who read this will probably be newer members, and won't fully understand the situation, and the ones who understand at least part of it, won't understand the parts they were never around for. I am open to anyone sending me a pm if they wish to discuss this further, and get the real details, but I won't display things in public for several reasons.
There is so much more I wish to say, so much more I feel I need to apologize for, so much more that I need to make up for, but for the time being this will have to suffice. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk, I'm sorry for allowing myself to believe the lies, and I'm sorry for all those I have hurt here. I ask for your forgiveness, and I hope that in time I can once again earn the trust of some beloved friends I once had here.
I once descended into darkness, now I am attempting to ascend into the light, and for the first time start living life for God truly. I want to give my life back to God, and I wish to make amends for my past mistakes. May this be the start of a new beginning.
-Gabrielman
However, my first and foremost reason for this post is to say sorry. I am sincerely sorry for all I've done here, and I owe all of you an apology for my actions. While they were very influenced by one person who sought to control me, that is no excuse. I have the ability to refuse to do what others ask of me, my actions are my own and I must take responsibility for them. There are many people on here I am sure that I hurt, and it was due to my own lack of will to resist doing what I was told to do, that it happened. I am sorry for all that I've done, and I mean that. To each and every person I spoke ill of, insulted, or did any wrong to, I am sorry.
The past seven years of my life and been, for lack of a better term, a living hell. One of my gravest mistakes was when I came here, and allowed myself to be manipulated and taken advantage of, that lead me down this road. Granted my life at the time was also a sort of living hell, this just made it so much worse. I will leave out the name of the individual who I allowed to do this to me, but suffice to say, it was a poor choice at best to let my guard down, and allow myself to be dragged into what I had hoped to be "love".
Those of you who have been here far longer than I will remember my first reason for coming here was that I was lonely, and afraid, and wanted someone to love me. My health was failing, I had few friends, no love, and little to look forward to in life. During that time of searching, one person came into my life, who promised me love and so much more. This person used my poor health and feelings of being alone to get me to do what she wanted, and from that point out I allowed myself to be controlled and manipulated into doing what she asked, and was never allowed to question it.
To cut a long story short, I went through seven years of mental and emotional abuse at the hands of this person. I do not wish to slander names, but I do wish to bring forth the honest truth. In this time I had seen a councilor, and a psychologist, in an attempt to get a grip on life and survive what I was going through. I was asked many times to leave her, for my own mental and physical health, and that was something I was afraid to do.
It was thanks to the strength of one friend that I met online that I was finally able to break the chains that bound me to a sinful and hurtful lifestyle, and get free. I have moved away from this person who hurt me so badly, and have been working on rebuilding lost friendships. I won't go into too much detail on that, as many who read this will probably be newer members, and won't fully understand the situation, and the ones who understand at least part of it, won't understand the parts they were never around for. I am open to anyone sending me a pm if they wish to discuss this further, and get the real details, but I won't display things in public for several reasons.
There is so much more I wish to say, so much more I feel I need to apologize for, so much more that I need to make up for, but for the time being this will have to suffice. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk, I'm sorry for allowing myself to believe the lies, and I'm sorry for all those I have hurt here. I ask for your forgiveness, and I hope that in time I can once again earn the trust of some beloved friends I once had here.
I once descended into darkness, now I am attempting to ascend into the light, and for the first time start living life for God truly. I want to give my life back to God, and I wish to make amends for my past mistakes. May this be the start of a new beginning.
-Gabrielman
