Christian Counselor

[Blessed]

I have nobody to talk to and need to enlist the services of a Christian Counselor but do not know where to start. I want someone rooted in scripture but who does not take a "bible thumping" approach and is objective and does not inject their own personal bias to manipulate discussion.

Where is a good place to start. Thank you.

[RickD]

A good place to start.

[neo-x]

I have nobody to talk to and need to enlist the services of a Christian Counselor but do not know where to start. I want someone rooted in scripture but who does not take a "bible thumping" approach and is objective and does not inject their own personal bias to manipulate discussion.

Where is a good place to start. Thank you.

In what area of life specifically you need counselling or is it just general overall? Anyway, you can ask here openly or pm some of the members. If you feel like it feel free to pm me anything you have questions about. I'd like to help if I can.

[Blessed]

I have no one to talk to. I just need someone I can dial. Sort of like a criminal defense attorney card. I know this sounds really stupid but I am a bit worried I am going to hell. I wasn't worried before I started watching all these NDE things - and now I am. I keep watching all these NDE hell videos. I am not feeling as good getting older. I bore easily and want to leave and go back to Las Vegas so at least I'll have something to do when I'm not at the office. I don't have any romantic love in my life. So I compensate with alcohol, smoking, gambling, fine dining, working on my car, surfing, exercising, reading, chatting online, playing video games, travel etc. etc etc. I do it to fill a void - which should not even exist. And now I'm worried I will go hell or something. It's become irrational and I don't like the way my life is turning out with this kind of thinking. I think I need to go back to how things were before. I felt good and secure. I was going to heaven and there was no reason to question it. Just be happy and live your life and be a good guy and be kind to others as best you can and learn from this life and try as best you can and you will be fine.

Instead I'm getting this constant nagging telling me God is a catch 22. I can't win with God because I'm dammed if I do dammed if I don't sort of thing. Any move you make is wrong. Anything you do is wrong . Anything you say is wrong. Any reasons you have are wrong. Everything about you is wrong to God. God's your loan shark. That's why God gave you a good life. Now pay up. God wants his gifts back with interest. Pay up - or go to Hell. Ah that's right you can't give it back because you can't "figure it out". That's what the parable of the talents really means. You fool. Stop reading the Bible. It's just a crutch. You can't figure it out. God won't reveal it's mysteries to you. Your fate has already been decided. There is nothing you can do. If you worship Jesus as God - your going to hell. If you don't worship Jesus as God - you're going to hell. See you can't win. You don't do anything good for anyone. You don't deserve your parents. You don't help others. People only care about what you can do for them- and so does God. Your questions are wrong. Your musings are pointless. Stop wasting your time. Any move you make is wrong. Your good intentions don't matter to God - or anyone else. God doesn't care about you. Your answer to what happens after you die - is an open door to hell.

This kind of thing.

I roll with the punches slip and move fight and endure as I can... I know I must not be the only human who has been challenged by this .. I continue to resist as best I can ..but every once in a while I need someone to talk to about it. I tried to go to some lady a while ago but she refused to answer my questions about her background, religious beliefs, and morals claiming my questions were irrelevant to her counseling credentials. I don't need a "shrink" just a Christian counselor every so often.

[LittleHamster]

I don't know anyone you can dial. I've been to a few healing Churches. Some pentacostal, some charismatic types and some holy-spiritual churches. You can talk to them until you're blue in the face. They will listen. They'll even put the hands on you and do a healing (even if you're not sick). But it's good if you have various psychological issues that need addressing as well. They will talk to you, give you advice, be your friend, hold you in their arms. All good stuff. Usually, you get free hot-dogs too

Good-luck.

[Blessed]

I don't know anyone you can dial. I've been to a few healing Churches. Some pentacostal, some charismatic types and some holy-spiritual churches. You can talk to them until you're blue in the face. They will listen. They'll even put the hands on you and do a healing (even if you're not sick). But it's good if you have various psychological issues that need addressing as well. They will talk to you, give you advice, be your friend, hold you in their arms. All good stuff. Usually, you get free hot-dogs too

Good-luck.

I 'haven't been to any churches in a long time because I'm afraid to go and I'm afraid of people putting their hands on me that I don't know. Like who are they to assume that authority and they do something bad to me. I know it sounds nuts.

I went to this church where they were doing that and the people are problems .. it was like they were being assailed while these people were laying the hands. I found it presumptive and got scared ?

I don't want to be "held". I want to go to church to worship God and contribute in a positive way. Not to bother others with my problems.

[LittleHamster]

I don't know anyone you can dial. I've been to a few healing Churches. Some pentacostal, some charismatic types and some holy-spiritual churches. You can talk to them until you're blue in the face. They will listen. They'll even put the hands on you and do a healing (even if you're not sick). But it's good if you have various psychological issues that need addressing as well. They will talk to you, give you advice, be your friend, hold you in their arms. All good stuff. Usually, you get free hot-dogs too

Good-luck.

I 'haven't been to any churches in a long time because I'm afraid to go and I'm afraid of people putting their hands on me that I don't know. Like who are they to assume that authority and they do something bad to me. I know it sounds nuts.

I went to this church where they were doing that and the people are problems .. it was like they were being assailed while these people were laying the hands. I found it presumptive and got scared ?

Hey, I think I got a similar feeling too. I went to the front of this particular church, I had a sore back at the time, and I felt like I was some kind of leper in a weird Jesus film. With everyone staring at me and all that. It was like "Who is this sinner that has turned up...wonder what he's done wrong ?" Freaked me out a bit.

I don't want to be "held". I want to go to church to worship God and contribute in a positive way. Not to bother others with my problems.

There are people at church that really want to listen and help and offer advice. Finding the right one is the hard bit. Just like finding the right dial up help line.

[Kurieuo]

Here is a good place to start, from a previous poster on this board: Grace, A Word Study

In fact, you might find several articles there helpful to your situation with your fears about hell and the like.

[Blessed]

Here is a good place to start, from a previous poster on this board: Grace, A Word Study

In fact, you might find several articles there helpful to your situation with your fears about hell and the like.

Thanks for the article but the bible says there is no grace for those who continue in sin. And everyone, to some extent, sins. The Bible also talks about "lusts of the flesh" without getting too specific.

"19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. "

Adultery - Not Guilty. Obviously a huge sin listed in the 10 commandments. I am not guilty of this. I am not married.
Fornication-Guilty.Sex or sexual activity before or outside of marriage.And if I use my hand or look at Porn I am still sinning?
Uncleanness - Not sure what this means. Not taking a shower? Not guilty of this.
Lasciviousness - Guilty. Who isn't guilty of this?
Idolatry - Not sure. What constitutes an "idol"? Bowing down to a statue and calling it god?
Witchcraft - Not Guilty but not sure. What constitutes "witchcraft"?
Hatred - Who isn't guilty of this sin?
Variance - Guilty. Both intentionally and unknowingly based on a host of variables. Every sales person is guilty of this sin.
Emulations - Not sure. I'm guessing this means "looking up to someone" and "emulating" their behavior or traits??????????
Wrath - Not sure what this means. Need definition. If a feeling - who hasn't felt this unfortunate feeling every so often?
Strife - Guilty.
Seditions - Guilty but again - what kind of seditions? Underhanded behavior? If yes for what REASON. Again - no definition.
Heresies - Depending on the time you lived in you could be guilty or not. Need expanded definition from Bible. Nothing.
Envyings - I understand this is hating someone for having/doing/being better than you are. Not guilty. Only being Jealous.
Murders - Not Guilty. Bible again lacks definition. Justified? Suicide? Self defense? War? Accident? Eating a Rib-eye Steak?
Drunkenness - Guilty of this every other night. Again to what degree is "drunk". Bible talks of wine then condemns drunks.
Revellings - Sadly not guilty. I am assuming this means making merry in sin. A bunch of losers singing at a dive Bar? Loud Partying that God sees as wrong? Again - NO DEFINITION. NONE. NADA ZIP. ZILTCH. ZERO.


Only general words to describe sin that can break down into a million different things. What TYPE of Revellings. What DEGREE of Drunkeness? .08? What KIND of Murder? What TYPE of Hatred and why. What about the reasons. The NT says nothing specific to the scale, sensitivity, and extent of the "sin" - and since the law is absolute, presumably the reason for the sin doesn't matter (this seems insane to me) how is is possible for ANYONE to be saved?

"Oh just believe repent and grace will follow" Right. As you keep on sinning. And you WILL keep on sinning. To SOME DEGREE no matter what. That is the scary thing I am reading into here.

I just want God to save me and cleanse me from all sin forever and seal me. It's NOT something I can do myself. All I can do is limit the degree - without even knowing what sin "is". Indeed what one person considers a sin - another does not. And I cannot get specific, exact, expanded definitions of what God considers a sin. For instance Murder. Jesus says something to the effect of he who hates is brother in his heart is a murder... Ok so if I physically MURDER someone this is the same as "hating" my "brother". #1 How is this even remotely the same and #2 what kind of brother? Genetic brother? fellow Christian? Friend? Some guy on the street you say "Ahmen Brother" to?" Again NO DEFINITION.

Without definitive answers. Without definitive laws. There is no way to know where you stand. And from the way this and other verses in the Bible make things sound I get this voice telling me "Yes that's right .. NOBODY is inheriting the Kingdom of God.... see.... it even says so in the Scriptures"

Does anyone have a verse they can point out to counteract what I'm seeing here .. I just have this intense fear that only 144,000 human beings out of Trillions that ever lived will ever make it ..

If that kind of math is against me .... what is the point of even bothering to try ...

[melanie]

I have no one to talk to. I just need someone I can dial. Sort of like a criminal defense attorney card. I know this sounds really stupid but I am a bit worried I am going to hell. I wasn't worried before I started watching all these NDE things - and now I am. I keep watching all these NDE hell videos. I am not feeling as good getting older. I bore easily and want to leave and go back to Las Vegas so at least I'll have something to do when I'm not at the office. I don't have any romantic love in my life. So I compensate with alcohol, smoking, gambling, fine dining, working on my car, surfing, exercising, reading, chatting online, playing video games, travel etc. etc etc. I do it to fill a void - which should not even exist. And now I'm worried I will go hell or something. It's become irrational and I don't like the way my life is turning out with this kind of thinking. I think I need to go back to how things were before. I felt good and secure. I was going to heaven and there was no reason to question it. Just be happy and live your life and be a good guy and be kind to others as best you can and learn from this life and try as best you can and you will be fine.

Instead I'm getting this constant nagging telling me God is a catch 22. I can't win with God because I'm dammed if I do dammed if I don't sort of thing. Any move you make is wrong. Anything you do is wrong . Anything you say is wrong. Any reasons you have are wrong. Everything about you is wrong to God. God's your loan shark. That's why God gave you a good life. Now pay up. God wants his gifts back with interest. Pay up - or go to Hell. Ah that's right you can't give it back because you can't "figure it out". That's what the parable of the talents really means. You fool. Stop reading the Bible. It's just a crutch. You can't figure it out. God won't reveal it's mysteries to you. Your fate has already been decided. There is nothing you can do. If you worship Jesus as God - your going to hell. If you don't worship Jesus as God - you're going to hell. See you can't win. You don't do anything good for anyone. You don't deserve your parents. You don't help others. People only care about what you can do for them- and so does God. Your questions are wrong. Your musings are pointless. Stop wasting your time. Any move you make is wrong. Your good intentions don't matter to God - or anyone else. God doesn't care about you. Your answer to what happens after you die - is an open door to hell.

This kind of thing.

I roll with the punches slip and move fight and endure as I can... I know I must not be the only human who has been challenged by this .. I continue to resist as best I can ..but every once in a while I need someone to talk to about it. I tried to go to some lady a while ago but she refused to answer my questions about her background, religious beliefs, and morals claiming my questions were irrelevant to her counseling credentials. I don't need a "shrink" just a Christian counselor every so often.

Blessed I guess to some degree it’s all about personal perception. I’ve studied NDE’s for about the last 6 years. Reading just about every account on the internet and watching countless YouTube vids.
By far these accounts talk about a God who loves us immensely and forgives even beyond our understanding of reasonable measure.....I think of Jesus when he said we are to forgive 70 times 7.....meaning continually. If that is what is required of us then how infinitely forgiving Our Father must be.
For what we find difficult, to either practice ourselves or comprehend is not a challenge nor a chore for God because it’s His very nature.
I have also struggled with alcohol, smoking, addictions and a bevy of other sins. I don’t say that proudly but I also don’t say it in defeat. Nor in fear.
It’s not a get out of jail free card or a go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 scenario either.
I’m a flawed, complex and somewhat damaged child of God. As to some extent we all are. In my case perhaps more than others but it doesn’t make me any less worthy. Nor does it make you for all your struggles or anyone.
We are not lined up and processed into heaven by great, pretty good, good, not so good and failing....That’s not how it works. It is not your flaw but a major flaw of religion if you’ve ever thought that was the case.
I feel quite passionately about this because I feel like God has been grossly misrepresented. Almost bastardised to fit our own human error of a religious caste system. Depending where one fits along this system depends on our security and salvation and how we are viewed by others.
An awfully delicate and trepidatious tightrope walk of acceptance. For those that fail quite miserably and can not maintain the allusion of the tightrope it can feel defeating and isolating.
That is NOT a desertion by God but by mainly our own feelings of inadequacy.
And you know what we are inadequate to some degree.
Blessed you are projecting your own fears and insecurities onto the most caring, forgiving, compassionate and loving Father. He knows you fail, I fail sometimes regrettably quite spectacularly, we all fail.....but He loves us and forgives us 70 times 7 times 7000. Every. Single. Time.

[melanie]

I just want to add that if you’re dealing with personal hurdles I would recommend a trained professional like a psychologist and not a Christian counselor who may be highly tainted with personal dominational bias.

[Philip]

Actually, people should search for and find a trained Christian that has BOTH - credentialed counseling training and Scriptural foundations. As they are both very important. A lot of people unfortunately go to pastors or preachers who don't have the necessary training in counseling, and so they can really mess people up or be inadequate to people with deep, complex issues. But also, a non-Christian counselor might recommend things in conflict with the cautions or instructions God has given us, bringing only a worldly basis for their advice.

[LittleHamster]

A song for you Blessed....try not to cry

[Kurieuo]

Actually, people should search for and find a trained Christian that has BOTH - credentialed counseling training and Scriptural foundations. As they are both very important. A lot of people unfortunately go to pastors or preachers who don't have the necessary training in counseling, and so they can really mess people up or be inadequate to people with deep, complex issues. But also, a non-Christian counselor might recommend things in conflict with the cautions or instructions God has given us, bringing only a worldly basis for their advice.

Really, I don't understand why it was made into a "Christian" counsellor vs a Psychologist issue. Psychologists quite simply have more education than a counsellor irrespective of whether they're Christian. Many counsellors have an education in psychology though, even if they're not qualified psychologists.

As such, some counsellors can be ahead of many psychologists, if you get a good one. It just depends on the person, but I wouldn't dismiss a counsellor for a psychologist simply because one doesn't carry the "Psychologist" title. As for psychiastrists, many are just over-glorified pharmaceutical drug pushers.

When I was a child, I saw many for OCD and anxiety-anger issues. The ones who helped most was a non-Christian therapy nurse and Christian church counsellor. The people who were most positive and encouraging were all Christian. The psychiastrists I saw were mostly up themselves and quite pathetic with their evaluations. A Christian psychiatrist was better, but then also quite hopeless in terms of helping counselling/psychology-wise.

So then, if someone feels like they need counselling, then they should look to a good Christian counsellor or Christian psychologist. Why? Because besides having same values, they will more likely have a hope and belief you can change and change your situation. Yet, like with anything, you can get quite a mix, some specialise in different counselling techniques, some have more liberal values, others more conservative.

[melanie]

I can quite literally get a counselling diploma through a 12 week course online. I’m not saying there’re aren’t good or even great counsellors but training is vitally important when dealing with addictions and behaviours.
If someone has a serious medical condition would they see a trained doctor or a Christian healer? I’d hope they would see a doctor. Who is a trained professional.
I would also hope that if someone was dealing with mental health issues which addiction is they would see a trained professional and not a Christian counselor who could possibly not have the expertise of a professional.
Bear in mind that in the throws of addiction and issues of anxiety and depression as much as one would like to think a scripture or two might help and in some ways it does it also in no way dismisses the vital need of psychological and psychiatric care.
I’ve personally been witness to someone in vital need of professional care entrusted to the “expertise” of a Christian counsellor and it was despite the best intentions of the counsellor way outside their expertise.