I don't like making titles up, do it yourself.
Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:24 pm
A minister concluded that his church was getting into
serious financial troubles.
Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church
storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles
that had never been opened and distributed. So at his
Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles
door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed
money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer
for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned
their living as salesmen and were likely capable of
selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie.
Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always
tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by
his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very
badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the
reverend decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their
cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him
and report the results of their door-to-door selling
efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend
immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make
out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied,
"Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20
bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the
church."
"Fine job, Peter!" The reverend said, vigorously shaking
his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church
is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did
you manage to sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently
replied,"Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was
happy to give the church the benefit of my sales
expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the
church, and here's $280 I collected."
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul.
You are truly a professional salesman and the church is
also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and
said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last
week?"
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The
reverend opened it and counted the contents. "What is
this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in
here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the
church, door to door, in just one week?
Louie just nodded.
That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison.
"We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold
10 times as many bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "I
think you'd better explain how you managed to do
accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't
kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud,
Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they
answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,
"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks
---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me
t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"
serious financial troubles.
Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church
storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles
that had never been opened and distributed. So at his
Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles
door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed
money for the church.
Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer
for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned
their living as salesmen and were likely capable of
selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie.
Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always
tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by
his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very
badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the
reverend decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their
cars stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him
and report the results of their door-to-door selling
efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend
immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make
out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied,
"Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20
bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the
church."
"Fine job, Peter!" The reverend said, vigorously shaking
his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church
is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did
you manage to sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently
replied,"Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was
happy to give the church the benefit of my sales
expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the
church, and here's $280 I collected."
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul.
You are truly a professional salesman and the church is
also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and
said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last
week?"
Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The
reverend opened it and counted the contents. "What is
this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in
here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the
church, door to door, in just one week?
Louie just nodded.
That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison.
"We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold
10 times as many bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "I
think you'd better explain how you managed to do
accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't
kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud,
Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they
answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,
"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks
---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me
t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"
yes, I've heard that one before. Very amusing. 