Living Faith

[Mallz]

We are created to be His ambassadors, His children, His representation to existence. Not just the existence we know, but all of existence. Satan was envious of the status born into the human race and desired it. Jealousy was the first sin. And it's always toxic.

Sometimes I see we are so intimately living with Him that our every action in life is a dance with Him. Sometimes I feel so distant from Him that I know I'm living on fleeting moments..

Yet everyone's lives is a seesaw; up and down, to and fro, just as the devil roams. Yet we are in a state of refinement.

Right now I'm giving a rambling prelude of sorts.

I post this in 'Questions for Christians' as I would like to know. From those of you who have been around to the one who just came to us:

When have you known the hand of God?

If you never have, what has lead you to think it might be true?

[Mallz]

Many times in my life Have I felt Him move.

It's not my way to be so blunt. But this time I will give something apparent, obvious and true.

Three years ago. I'm a nurse and at that time was working in a pediatric neuro-surgical unit and Doernbechers, OHSU in Portland, OR. Great hospital, great people (sh*tty administration but doesn't everyone think that?). I work 3, 12 hour shifts a week. That's my jam. At the end of the second day I was put on call for the third with the expectation of not getting called in. I saw our staffing and census. It would be an act of God for me to have to work that third day. I go to sleep and wake up the 3rd day. And I get called in. I'm driving to work with a sense of wonder. I'm in the Spirit talking with Him, wondering what He has in store for me because I know I'm going to work for His reasoning's. No other.

When I get to work I'm given one patient. Unusual given the fact that our nurse to patient ratio is 1:2-3 depending on acuity and I didn't consider him to be that.. acute. But I was called in for him as all the other nurses had a full assignment. so I welcome and admit this 12 year old boy. I got there briefly before he arrived. Props to the charge nurse to get me there before him. He is with Him. I see Him around Him. I know my own. I know why I'm there. His child was was going to be in this strange and scary place with something scary happening to Him. And our Father wanted Himself to be with the boy. My Honor. My pleasure, my pride, my desire.

He and I kick it off instantly. He's chill and I create a relaxing atmosphere. His parents aren't in the state and aren't arriving for another day. His grandparents are on the way to the hospital who he came to visit. The rest of the family following the next day. Grandparents won't arrive for an hour. I admit the kid and b/s with him. It's like, 9pm at night and our kitchen is closed so I'm offering him w/e we have which is juice and snacks like oreos and other unhealthy stuff. He refuses and tells me he has to have his vegetables first. I think about strangling him.. wtf is wrong with you?! You are alone, at the hospital. Parents wont' come till tomorrow, grandparents not for an hour. Unbeknownst to you, you have a serious condition and you wont eat a damn oreo until you had some veggie?!

I settle him and his grandparents later arrive. I great them as they come to the unit and walk them toward their grandsons room. I see they are my family too. Pretty sure the grandfather is a retired pasture. He wore a cross around his neck. As soon as we meet I tell him 'welcome to 10N, I'm mark your grandsons nurse, it's a pleasure to meet you. Cool cross, I could tell he was a christian as soon as I met him'. Their worried eyes relax as a sense of understanding and relief over flows the grandfather and wonder the grandmother.

The kid had an esophageal stricture which means his esophagus was inflamed to the opening of a straw. Which means the Dr.s were concerned they would have to emergently intubate this kid by traching him (cutting from his neck into his trachea to let him breath). The resident was freaking out. I put him at ease. 'The kid is hemodynamically stable in no distress. don't worry about it, I got his back.' The resident is a bit bewildered and entertained. But it's true. The resident wouldn't cut, the pulmonologist in the ICU would And I'd support him until that happened. But it wouldn't. The kid would be fine and discharge the next day. And I gave that confidence out to the parents and team because the Spirit told me it was true.

His whole admission was a testament to the grandparents. More so the retired pasture, who never said that is what he was.
One example of feeling His hand move in my life to the benefit of others. Being an answered prayer.

[Philip]

Great post, Mallz - somehow I missed it. It's great that you were used to bring calm to a scary situation, and that you are aware that God has gifted you and put you were He can truly impact lives through you. Yours has to be a very stressful job!

Course, I think Rick works in a hospital as well - I'd always be afraid I'd catch something, but you guys are constantly in jobs that you must do despite the risks. Hats off to you both!

[RickD]

Philip wrote:
Course, I think Rick works in a hospital as well - I'd always be afraid I'd catch something, but you guys are constantly in jobs that you must do despite the risks. Hats off to you both!

I’m just a maintenance mechanic. Nurses are the real heroes. They’re underpaid, under appreciated, and are constantly dealing with sick patients.

[Challenger007]

You know, sometimes I look at what is happening and start to lose faith. I do not understand how God can forgive those who kill children, all sorts of rapists, pedophiles. I do not understand how those who unleash wars can remain unpunished. It doesn't comfort me much that they can be punished after death. And it is unlikely that such a "promise" can console those whose relatives suffered from such bastards.

[Philip]

Challenger: You know, sometimes I look at what is happening and start to lose faith. I do not understand how God can forgive those who kill children, all sorts of rapists, pedophiles. I do not understand how those who unleash wars can remain unpunished. It doesn't comfort me much that they can be punished after death. And it is unlikely that such a "promise" can console those whose relatives suffered from such bastards.

Challenger, just because a person may be forgiven (if they are a Christ follower), it doesn't mean they won't also suffer the consequences of their actions while still living. And a forgiven person is a new creature in Christ - and the old man, the sinner, no longer exists, in God's eyes, as He adopts the repentant one who commits themselves to following Him as sons and daughters. God looks at ALL unforgiven sin as making a person worthy of death and judgment. But we tend to slice and dice which sins we think are unforgivable. But God doesn't think like we do, and He takes the eternal view. .

[1over137]

You know,I have these feelings here and there.
One example is:
When we were in India trying to save Tomas, after the treatment we went with him to MRI to check if treatment helped.
Every MRI before was bad, the tumor was growing each time. GBM is a beast that does not stop. Tomas's brother was with us there too.
He was stressed about the result. But I felt peace. And told this to Tomas's brother that I feel peace. In hour or so, we get the phone call - I was on the phone and we were told tumor started shrinking. Oh how happy we were. Me, Tomas and his brother hugged each other.
(Still it is painful that I lost Tomas in next year.)

So, from time to time I have such feelings and am thankful to our heavenly Father that he is with me.

[Challenger007]

Challenger: You know, sometimes I look at what is happening and start to lose faith. I do not understand how God can forgive those who kill children, all sorts of rapists, pedophiles. I do not understand how those who unleash wars can remain unpunished. It doesn't comfort me much that they can be punished after death. And it is unlikely that such a "promise" can console those whose relatives suffered from such bastards.

Challenger, just because a person may be forgiven (if they are a Christ follower), it doesn't mean they won't also suffer the consequences of their actions while still living. And a forgiven person is a new creature in Christ - and the old man, the sinner, no longer exists, in God's eyes, as He adopts the repentant one who commits themselves to following Him as sons and daughters. God looks at ALL unforgiven sin as making a person worthy of death and judgment. But we tend to slice and dice which sins we think are unforgivable. But God doesn't think like we do, and He takes the eternal view. .

Perhaps you are right. I'm just not sure that such reasoning can somehow console the relatives of those people who have suffered from unnatural actions against themselves. It's easier to reason when it doesn't concern you personally. And when it comes to, the consolation that someone there will someday be punished for the harm done, and that is not a fact.

[Philip]

Hana: (Still it is painful that I lost Tomas in next year.)

Hana, it is quite possible - perhaps even probable - that the amount of days and time your heroic trek to India bought Tomas was very important to him spiritually, as he considered his future and pondered the questions leading to faith.

[1over137]

I know Philip. I was to be at his súde on his way to heaven.
How I miss him and what a pain to lose such love.