Marie,
The questions you ask are all good questions, and we will continue to attempt to answer them as good as as we can. However, I would strongly advise anyone in this position to seek personal help, because the anonymous mechanism on a website is not suited for providing the type of personal interaction needed.
But even if you know it is bad, and want to stop, but can't? (for self-destruction)
It is like any addiction, and has to go through a process of healing. Every time one chooses to do something bad, it is by choice, not by neccesity, so we can choose not to do it.
The following steps are generic, but may help:
1. You need to want to change. The ingredient most crucial to changing is motivation, the desire to change.
2. The main sources of the motivation to quit an addiction are the things that are important for your life. Work, family, pride, religion, health,- any and all values that contradict the urge to be.
3. Improve your skills and your confidence. Learning to do things well, to deal better with problem areas, and to see yourself as a competent person are crucial links in overcoming addiction.
4. Invest in the key building blocks of your life- friends, family, job, career, hobbies, healthful activities. Having the ingredients of a successful life in place is the best antidote to addiction. These things give you the reasons not to be addicted, the motivation to cease addiction, and the strength to quit and stay unhooked.
5. The strongest answer to addiction is the community. Belonging to a supportive social group — one with pro-social values that do not support addictive excesses - makes it unlikely to make you addicted. Social support is also useful for overcoming addiction, provided the support focuses on something more than the addiction. Real community reinforces the entire fabric of your life, where as support predicated on sharing an addiction hold to the danger of becoming a preoccupation not unlike the addiction itself.
But if God wants us to be happy, then why is the world so terrible?
The world is terrible despite God, not because of Him. There cannot be true love if it is forced, so we get to choose. Those who choose not to love God are responsible for the terrible world, along with the father of evil. God created the possibility for evil and terrible things, but not the things themselves. I have more on this, but it's already a long post. Let me know if we need to discuss this further.
If that is the case, then why is it better to be dead than alive?
I guess you meant it the other way around, i.e. why is live worth living in this terrible world? Your life is a great gift, you only have one life to live here on earth, to experience all that is earthly life. It is also your one opportunity to make a commitment to God from free choice.
I do not understand why we are supposed to worship him, if he has not answered any prayers.
Marie, do you know why God put you on earth? Do you have a close personal relationship with Him? Have you ever bowed down and made a 100% commitment to God? Have you ever just praised Him, without blaming or asking? I'm sorry for the questions, but many times we ask for things, even as Christians, that does not fir with God's plan or purpose for us, and He cannot give us what we ask for. Also, you have to remember that "No" is also an answer, it won't always be "yes", since we as humans cannot know what is best for us from God's perspective. Know ing God's purpose for you will help you focus prayer on that, and not just our own wishes and desires.
It used to be that when things were bad, I would cry, and even try praying for things to get better. Today, I can't even cry. I feel dead already, only I am still alive.
Once again, I can't presume to know what would bring you to this point. I can only offer you this, you are not dead. I would recommend getting personal attention to your situation. Yopu don't say where you are from, if you want, send me a pm and I can help you find someone in your area.
There are so many problems that are so deep within my family, and my own life. There are so many things to think about, and when I think about them, it is overwhelming.
Of course it can be overwhelming, but God does not want you to carry the burden on your own. Not only does He help you carry the burden, but He also instructs fellow Christians to help each other in these times of difficulty. We are all here to help each other.
My mother has had an entire life of pain, and I know she has prayed and prayed. Still, nothing has improved.
I don't know the specifics, but can't comment too much. However, sometimes God gives us an answer which we don't want to hear, like getting out of an abusive relationship even if we love the person.
What do I have to worship God for? Pain? I don't see how anyone can actually make it to heaven when they are under such circumstances.
Read the book of Job in the Bible, and see how he suffered while still worshipping God. Sometimes we feel that God has something against us, otherwise why would He let bad things happen to us? God has His own motives, and we can ask for His strength and love to guide us through that. I heard a good saying once: You don't know that God is all you need, until God is all you have.
I do believe in God and Jesus (though I've never been sure which one to pray to...), but I don't think he really cares. And if he does, then he is not very good at helping, or maybe he just chooses to watch people hurting.
Marie, you are obviously hurting and angry at God, and it happens to all of us sometimes. I can see from your writing that you are confused and want help. Pray to God in the name of Jesus to intercede in your life, know that it will happen, and accept it.[/quote]
