Removing Fear from Faith
Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:23 am
I'm now a 30 year old man. Up until a few years ago, I paid little mind to the big questions; what is this life about, where do I come from and where I am headed (after I expire)?
In my late 20's, a growing emptiness unresolved by anything earthly began to fill me. I was also impacted by the deaths of friends and family members. I also developed some health problems which forced me (and still do) to consider my own mortality.
As I entered this pivotal point, I already had what I consider to be built-in or pre-existing belief that I and everything around me was created by a supreme being. I was also aware of the claims of Jesus, and that there was plenty of evidence concerning his life, death and resurrection. I knew these facts gave tremendous credibility to the Christian faith, and that the promises were worth accepting, particularly because they represent a gift from God's grace (having nothing to do with my own merit, of which I have none).
And so I accepted Jesus as my Savior through prayer. I fully know and accept that it is not in the hands of man to install peace and security in this world, or to overcome death. This is the right of the Almighty God alone. I also know that a right relationship with God (and the eternal salvation within) was the answer to the emptiness and hopelessness inside of me.
I continue to struggle these days as I seek assurance of my salvation. To put my mind at ease, to eliminate anxiety, and to internalize the knowledge that no man, no accident, no disease and no death can truly destroy me. Intellectally, I believe that Jesus lived, died and was resurrected, and that his substitutional death contains the power to save me. My heart, though, is often occupied by fear. Fear of dying, for it is one of the most profound unknowns. Fear that what I have is flawed or non-existent faith, the cost of which might be the denial of eternal life with God and the faithful. I desperately want to be relieved of my fears, to trade it for faith and trust so strong that it translates into a deep love for God because of the gift he offers (and that I believe I have accepted).
Faith is surely a journey and not an instantaneous event, but I am afraid that I might die before my faith is developed into the kind which will free me from judgement and permanent disconnection from God. Further fear and guilt arises from the fact that in harboring these doubts of my salvation, I am not taking God at his word. If I carry faith and belief fused with fears, am I still forgiven and still justified? This question tears at my heart. I pray about these very things, and will continue to do so. There is nothing more important in my life.
I will gladly accept the advice and guidance of the folks in this forum on these matters. The testimonies of other believers are always soothing to me. I look at it as a way for God to reach out to me through his faithful. Thank you for listening.
In my late 20's, a growing emptiness unresolved by anything earthly began to fill me. I was also impacted by the deaths of friends and family members. I also developed some health problems which forced me (and still do) to consider my own mortality.
As I entered this pivotal point, I already had what I consider to be built-in or pre-existing belief that I and everything around me was created by a supreme being. I was also aware of the claims of Jesus, and that there was plenty of evidence concerning his life, death and resurrection. I knew these facts gave tremendous credibility to the Christian faith, and that the promises were worth accepting, particularly because they represent a gift from God's grace (having nothing to do with my own merit, of which I have none).
And so I accepted Jesus as my Savior through prayer. I fully know and accept that it is not in the hands of man to install peace and security in this world, or to overcome death. This is the right of the Almighty God alone. I also know that a right relationship with God (and the eternal salvation within) was the answer to the emptiness and hopelessness inside of me.
I continue to struggle these days as I seek assurance of my salvation. To put my mind at ease, to eliminate anxiety, and to internalize the knowledge that no man, no accident, no disease and no death can truly destroy me. Intellectally, I believe that Jesus lived, died and was resurrected, and that his substitutional death contains the power to save me. My heart, though, is often occupied by fear. Fear of dying, for it is one of the most profound unknowns. Fear that what I have is flawed or non-existent faith, the cost of which might be the denial of eternal life with God and the faithful. I desperately want to be relieved of my fears, to trade it for faith and trust so strong that it translates into a deep love for God because of the gift he offers (and that I believe I have accepted).
Faith is surely a journey and not an instantaneous event, but I am afraid that I might die before my faith is developed into the kind which will free me from judgement and permanent disconnection from God. Further fear and guilt arises from the fact that in harboring these doubts of my salvation, I am not taking God at his word. If I carry faith and belief fused with fears, am I still forgiven and still justified? This question tears at my heart. I pray about these very things, and will continue to do so. There is nothing more important in my life.
I will gladly accept the advice and guidance of the folks in this forum on these matters. The testimonies of other believers are always soothing to me. I look at it as a way for God to reach out to me through his faithful. Thank you for listening.